[ I sat on the corner curb waiting for you ]

I sat on the corner curb waiting for you
just like I did everyday for school.
I knew deep down you weren't coming
but that didn't keep me from hoping.
We've made it three years
last year to go of high school
We struggled
hand and hand, fist to fist, you shed tears for me
through my parents divorce to suicidal attempts
you slept in the hospital chair
even when they would try and make you leave.
Hitting rock bottom hurt
only to have you hold me, you saved me.

The news filled bleeding ears
as they burned when your mom called me.
I'm sorry dripped from tear soaked lips
words squeezed from closing throat
He is gone.
I asked where you went
before it registered what she really meant.
The phone slipped through trembling fingers
my knees buckled as I slid down the hallway wall.
Shoulder shuddering sobs soaked into the wood
My mom runs to me as I silently scream.
rocking back in forth
I layed in her arms til morning.

The church creaked as I approached
telling me his life story, I already knew
The doorway loomed as if cradling me as I walked through
His closed casket cried
when I reached long unsteady fingers stroking the smooth surface
I placed my ear to it hoping I would hear his heart
only silence spoke to me.
I sat slumped in the front row angry at god
internally screaming, pleading my life for his
Nothing worked,
you were where I wanted to be
and I couldn't save you.

So I sit on the corner curb waiting for you
just like I did everyday for school.