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Predatory

You nibbled on my neck,
venomous kisses
subduing me
as you claimed me
your prey for tonight.

Your slithering tongue
scaled its way
down my body while
hands moved
in serpentine strokes.

You gripped folds
of my slickest skin
with lust-fangs,
but became rattled
when I took control.

Creeping up, I drew in
your entire length
deep within me,
swallowing your
writhing form whole.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • ellipsist
    June 1

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    wonderful, wonderful, wonderful take on the prompt... I personally have never thought of a snake bite as so sensual...


  • imahealer gold member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    Erotica at it's best! "became rattled when I took control" LOve how you changed the direction this verse was taking. IN the last stanza, I read then covered my eyes! LOL The graphic scene was TOO hot to reread! LOLSo tell me, where do you keep this wonderful snake hidden? Very creative and deliciously erotic, though it is too early in the day. I must come back and read this late at night, and wish my finace could move here faster! Thank you for entering!

    Linda

  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa.... I don't know whether to be turned-on or freaked out.
    I mean, the whole snake thing makes me shudder. However, I love the sensuality to this. The girl taking control is awesome!
    Once again, you explored the metaphor as much as humanly possible and took it past the limits most people would be able to follow it to. I love that about you - you have a talent with metaphors like no other.
    Great write. I'm sure you'll place.


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    Love it
    Another sensual hot bite
    Great use of words and each stanza takes you further and further... writhing form whole !!
    Good luck in my Sis's contest
    Julie


  • Rovingone gold member
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    Very erotic. I could certainly see that poem come to life. The venomous kisses, the descriptive metaphors, slithering tongue and serpentine strokes, the entire piece seems to make a snake like movement. Well written.

  • somegirlyouknew
    May 24

    Edit | Reply
    wow. creepy. this is really a 'piece' of writing and not just some random stanzas thrown in to make a poem. it comes together really nicely.
    great job


  • JT Sammer
    May 24

    Edit | Reply
    Shivers going up and down my spine right now from the sheer amazingness of this write! Excellent is an overused word on ap but this write deserves it completely and wholly. I love the sensuality of the write but also the metaphors and your talent showed through. Keep it up! Peace n' Love, JT


  • leander gold member
    May 24

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely love how you took the prompt, fiddled with it and make it completely yours.
    I don't like to read sensual poetry, unless there's some good poetic device in it - and off course, your metaphors are splendid

    Absolutely enjoyed this!

    Leander


  • going nowhere
    May 24

    Edit | Reply
    wow... becoming rattled for taking control... i laughed there i think because i liked how you used that... i don't know... haha
    another great metphorical write!

1 - 10 of 10