When my poems go platinum?
I'll fetch myself a limo;
And buy a hot pink hippo
I shall pierce both my nipples
and poke out your good 'I'.
When my poems go platinum?
I'll whistle straight up Mozart;
in my diamond turbo go-cart
I'll pay a man to suck fart,
and say the bible was a lie.
When my poems go platinum!
I will weigh the stratosphere;
And design a better bitter beer
I will be so man, it will be queer
As luke warm cherry apple pie.
When my poems go platinum.
I will pretend I never wrote them
No matter how you vote 'em;
And tattoo my sweetest scrotum
"A Falcon God's long eye!"
When my poems go platinum.
'haps I'll golde 'n fleck my poo
The shape of -Dark_Angel's- horned shoe
When my clock goes Lou Cukoo
I'll break-dance in the sky.
When my poems go platinum?
I'll don my favourite ass mask,
and burgularize your wine cask.
Then, in tanning booth I shall bask;
repeatedly, with a sigh.
When my poems go platinum.
You'll wonder just what happened?
To make this kid so Chaplin
A dead hero with no chaplain
With no bread, just mouldy Brie.
When my poems go platinum.
I will find the Asian lover.
Some call the latex glover.
She's known to be a scrubber
AND I'M A DIRTY BOY IN TIE!
When my poems go platinum?
I will claim 'twas All Poetry
that gave me my big breaky
being an evil twisted macrame'
That questions every why.
When my poems go platinum.
I will pretend I never met you;
And nod though I have no clue
What you say you went through
for my Telepathic "Hi".
Last week I had a party
and used most of your
poetry, as coasters.
Author notes
Fishpickle went downtown the other day to see if he could find himself a nice gimmick. He pranced about all over town, merrily humming a mournful tune through his nostrils. He finally found a gimmick-shop, and realised there was no ATM nearby. He had to catch the bus across town to get to the bank, and soon noticed that the time was getting late. He yelled at the bus driver to go faster, and the bus driver, got abusive and tossed his ass off the bus. He had to skip awfully fast to get back to the shop before it closed. He pondered the selection of fine gimmicks, and chose the one he thought might best fit him. He paid for his gimmick, and went back out into the streets to go home. He soon discovered, upon the receipt of the gimmick, and the resumption of his prancing, that everyone around had chosen the same gimmick. Hey, that sucks.
This is my interpretation of contests... SPUNA!!!!!!!! FIRE!!!!! CARNAGE!!!! AND FREE FISHING, ANARCHY!!!!!!!!
Written December 24th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Rhyme Time by Spartacus.
400 points, ended October 27, 2005, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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You're pretty ambitious to think that you can raze the towers of contemporary poetry to an anarchy that dismembers all dudes except you. But you might just be enough of a fool to believe this and thus manage to succeed in all your diabolical plots. I'll never wish you luck for them, but I won't be sneering at your inevitable burnout in the end. Quite possibly, I might as well go mad -as- you, if not even -with- you, in the far future.
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RESPECT- I hope I spelt it right!
David
PS now there is a diamond in the CV - yes, between April of 2001 and May the following year- I sucked farts. Truth be known the pay was awful but chicks love it! -
This was funny as hell. I liked the way you mocked things. If I made a lot of money I definently would find a hot asain girl as well, I'd have to agree with you there.
The stanza about piercing your nipples and buying a pink hipo was definently my favorite. That made me laugh out loud which I don't do very often -
Buy my book, it's full of such nonsense, however
my music is much more pretentious than my poetry
simply because of my sheer nudity and girth. -
I have to say I love you for this poem. Seriously. I want to have your love child now, so he/she can grow up and we can call him/her Pretentious, and the middle name can be I'm a God. Yes, this poem was wonderful sarcastic and in-your-face and just all balls out, which I LOVE. Great entry.
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Man whatever. . . HmmM . and the whole talk to me like I'm dumb thing came up because my friend always does that . . its not telling you to do that and act like Im stupid . .yeah .. wHatEVer
Later ~KoOlaiD KiSseS~ -
"Talk to you like you're dumb"? Certainly.
Did you think I was lying? I, my friend, am a
world renouned poet that comes from a long line
of famous poets. It runs in my blood like chum. -
hah. ooOkay
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LOL I found this brilliantly arrogant (then again I don't quite know you so.....
)...a hot pink hippo huh lol. Don't dis the color pink...ewww suck a fart yuck!!! Seriously, this was great, loved how it was so well written. Kudos
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So when your poems go platinum, you'll deny all knowledge of the ever cool moderators??
..oh well 
Hey, ever seen Todd TV.. in that picture you kind of remind me of Todd..only less um, coffee house bum lookin than he is.
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LMFAO
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You'll gold 'n fleck your poo! I love that. That would be quite a creation to see. And you'll pay a man to suck fart. I love that too--wonder how much you'd have to pay him? There should be platinum trophies.
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Hey, I love this one! You honor me by placing it in my humble little inconspeckuous contest... or some shit like that... coasters in my toaster.
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good good. i liked everything about this poem i wouldnt change a thing. your poems will go platinum then u can peirce the nipples and all that rock on brother rock on. EaRiNe!!!!
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I'm not quite sure what to say. Good luck? Odd choice for rhyming?
BUt yes, terribly original, winding, brilliantly arrogant, and whimfully yours. I'd like my poetry back though.
Peace
Chris -
beautiful anarchy and sod the lot of you but we know you mean it....when you go platignumb you'll turn it all down...by the way i like the picture are they in your portfolio bet you have a lovely portfolio
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I'll pay a man to suck fart,
-Good ol' Morrison. ; )
you know, you're crazy. it's quite refreshing to read someone elses mind mush rather than twirl mine around my fingers failing to grasp some semblance of normalcy
i dont quite feel so alone now.
Nyx... -
Wow, this is really unique. I like it a lot...nice style, I could tell it was ur own. Very very nice....an I like the last two lines, it tied everything in the poem together. Some of the things u said made me laugh, an that's good...I really like this.
Good luck,
~~SuGaR~NeDeN~~ -
hi, me again, and I've been drinking again...
(wonder what the casual reader thinks of me now...)
um, yeah, this poem is really fucking great... I love the little surprise twisty things all over the place...
coasters, yeah, that's what I'm good for...
put me in my place.
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lol tell it, yo. very good.
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That was funny the ending made me laugh, Last week i had a party and used your poetry as a coaster... very funny hahahahaha.... from imagine27
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AAAAAH! (shriek of pure joy)
Wow, I'll have to come back later and tell you about the best parts of the form and shit, right now I'm still riding a contact-high. -
Hahaha.. so many things to do when your poems go platinum, and you picked things like this. thats what makes it funny.. (well duh to me) but anyway, you have a great imagination and i liked this alot! have a merry christmas! (or other holidays) -Courtney-
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Heheheheh, that was funny. But very, very long. Hmm, maybe just a bit too long. But that's okay. It was good anyway. Cool!
xXx [Rach] xXx
A-SHRUB
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i loved dooby...graet job...great flow..great word play...great....just great...funny, interesting, long, but great...and get you hands of my poems they suk already dont need you to rub it it...hehe..jk...good job..."i give it a ten, a ten a f*&kin ten!"-varsity blues
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Quizzical
Insight into your mind, or are you just playing with mine?
Your expectancy is both full as well as null and void, A little misleading, but I think I like it. One thing I think I'll overlook-
" and say the bible was a lie." -
ooookkk. that was different .but funny. i liked it ...............midgie...ttfn
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Um, yeah...LoL I like this. I love the many different ideas for when your poetry goes platinum. Very orginal. As for using my poems as coasters??? I was wondering where those went!! LoL Great poem, I really enjoyed this.
Cya when your poems go platinum, or maybe I won't.
~*Misty*~
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