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sunburn dreaming

 

 

 

 

 

to sometimes dream
of sleeping
in her pale garden
night,
where bruises bloom
in Winter's song 'til faded
by the careless light
of dawn;
 
to tremble with the shadows
barely seen
but to my caring eye;
 
to wake as tree beneath
her earth
 
to dream as seed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Word count: 47

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • apples fell gold member
    June 2

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    I found this to be a very challenging little write. You have some very careful word choices in here and you adhere to them in a way that is almost surreal. Me and tara had completely different ideas what the entire meaning was though...LOL. I felt that you were speaking of the changing of oneself, the becoming of ones own life essence. Like how when a person comes to a realization, one that they can not deny nor influence. I like carrying my own message away from a poem so please do not tell me your exact intentions. What I can tell you without pause was that both tara and I were very taken by your voice in and your use of format and how you very gently added the contest guidelines within.

    Congrats on a well deserved trophy in our contest.

    This is poetry at its finest and I am glad
    I was a co-judge and did not miss out.

    ;


  • silverfish
    June 1

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    i like the reflected light of this poem, as in a dream. the verse does tremble with the potential energy of a seed, perhaps very recently planted. also, i'm going to think about the 'careless light' and 'caring eye' for awhile. thanks for that. -silverfish


  • ardentMarch gold member
    May 31

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    the title reminds me of those crazy dreams I've gotten when I've been burnt to a crisp. I needed to say that...lol I really like it...


    this makes me feel the earth...the cooling of the earth on my skin...I love it

    thanks for this entry


  • ardentMarch gold member
    May 23
    Edit | Reply
    lololol - okay...just a sec...getting my brushes...LOL

1 - 7 of 7