We were entangled in a flat disk
of yellow shapes. Sunflowers, turning
empty eyes to a brazen face, one expression
aloft
with hunger and the other food.
A frail cocktail of nature
Yet our hands fit perfectly together.
Rabid, their mothy
breath drew us inside a shared
enigma of sight, smell, touch.
A window was not enough to show
how bright our bulbous hearts swelled.
Author notes
One
In a list
A contest entry
- May New Members Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended June 7, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Welcome to Allpoetry and thank you for entering the contest
What a brilliant choice of words. I love that you have shown in here that they fit together hand in hand, in need perhaps "rabid" references.
Welcome to allpoetry and enjoy the site
Good luck in the contest
Faerie
Site Greeter -
welcome to allpoetry
thanks for entering the contest I liked this but you need to put an option in the authors notes.
good luck in the contest.
cheers
Grey
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Welcome To AP
Hello Amaia,
I really liked the metaphors in this piece.
This is nice and I enjoyed the read!
Kari,
Site Greeter
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Welcome to AllPoetry
Unique and bursting with imagery and metaphors this is a well penned poem
Excellent
♥
Enjoy AllPoetry
Thank you & Best of luck
Stay safe
~Manda
Site Greeter -
Welcome to AllPoetry
This is wonderful both in message and imagery. I just love the creativity here. I don't quite grasp the part that says "and the other food", but the whole poem does make me think, it gives only a glimpse of your intense love, and I always enjoy that in poetry. You apparently forgot a k in "cocktail". I must say, the images are very beautiful and unique. I felt there are a little too many adjectives in this but on the other hand the images they serve to create are very good. Nice job Good luck in the contest!
~Diana
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Very nice background and very nice poem
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