Was there ever a day when I knew?
Just what a woman could do
To the walls of your heart
Till death do us part
Dreams, and nightmares, come true
Some things should never be found
Because Love's a patient blood hound
That is hot on your trail
You had better set sail
Since the earth is only so round
If Psyche would have just trusted
In Eros, before she busted
The pact that they made,
But she chose to trade
True love for a bed that was dusted
Then there was Pandora's box
How the curious woman unlocks
A container of sin
Just watch that bitch grin
Foxes in heat always win.
Author notes
erin
Written December 24th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Make me laugh and make me horny !!! by Ah.Sosha..
300 points, ended April 30, 2006, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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very good
very good though i enjoyed the end verse best , thank you for sharing this with us, good luck in the contest and keep up the good work -
This was very entertaining... especially the end. I saw no problems with anything you had, so that is great. This was thoroughly enjoyable. Good luck!
♥'s
sosha -
I agree with Another Story, a lymeric is a fresh breath of air. This was fantastic, greek mythology is my favorite
This was fantastic, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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very clever.
Im glad someone entered a lymeric. -
Very different
wow- I've never seen anything like this done with limericks before. Very innovative work here, I came to you from a reccomendation and I am very very impressed with your work so far- consider you added to my favourites! I hope you can send some of your honest critiquing my way- I'm just a beginner and your thoughts would be much appriciated if you have the time
Shimmerysoup -
flow off on a couple...and last line rhymne wrong
or didn't you want to say c*
Enjoyed the story of it tho
Eddy -
This is really great - well written, excellent...i can't really explain why i like this but the way you put all the ideas together so compactly - the only thing i don't like is the slightly negative slant on women - but overall well done
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I love how that last verse changed it's rhyme pattern from the others. You have a thing against love don't you? lol I have to say I really enjoyed this.... true to life with a twist of fantasy.
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Just the first two lines themselves say volumes. I have never seen limericks used this way, where they are strung together into multiple stanzas. I like the concept and may have to use it myself. Limiericks are so pleasing to read because they have a very rythmic beat to them.
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The last one needs some re-arranging of the last line but other than that they are intriguing and they kept their form. Good luck in the contest
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