Im the sister you have never known. You lost me a long long time ago.When we were young, we were split apart, but it was not known to us.I never knew that i had once had you but thin again maybe i never had you.Im not a sister by blood but in spirit.No, not just a sister though. I am the friend you could always count on to be there when you needed me.Im the girlfriend that loves you and makes you feel whole.I am the mother that drys your tears and washes a way any sorrow.I'am everything you've always wanted but everything you've always hated because of it.But one day we shall meet again and may not know it but just a passing glance will set are spirits aflame. For I'm the one you have never known because i was the one you lost.
A contest entry
- AP Family by Theory Of The Lost.
450 points, ended August 16, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do you understand the contant of what this means?
Comments
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Several things:
PUNCTUATE. You have some run-ons and sentences rendered awkward because you do not believe in commas, semicolons, colons, and pretty much anything taught to you in school.
REREAD YOUR WORK! There are errors here that could have been prevented by spellcheck; if you don't have it on your word processor, you can check your spelling online! Reread your work, too, to prevent errors like are/our, a flame/aflame, your/you're, etc.
If it's a poem, you might want to have stanzas for easier reading. As for the actual "poem"... well, you have some good ideas, but the simplistic sentence structure and diction render this elementary.
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