I want to know what you feel
When you're feeding off their hearts,
When you cut through their souls
Like a blade so sweet and sharp,
When you show them the truth,
Why we all should fear the dark
At the core of a leech
Who lives to rip us all apart ;
Now I'm gonna tell them everything
That I find inside your skin,
All the secrets that you hid
Behind that million dollar grin,
All the promises you fake
Just to lure the victims in,
Just one more future you can rape,
Yes I know everything you did ;
When you're done having fun
You smile and bury them away,
Lick your lips and brush your teeth
And step into the night again,
With all the bones that you wear
When you dance around your tomb,
Full of trophies that you stole
From lonely fools who trusted you ;
All the dreams you've been selling them,
Just cotton candy laced with poison,
All the lies you've been telling them,
Leave them to rot with all your carrion,
But I know where you've buried them,
Now I'm digging up your skeletons ;
I can hear those bodies howl,
Pleading from their holes,
Begging me to burn your graveyard down,
Rip the whitewash from your soul ;
I'm digging up your skeletons ;
I want to know why they cried
When you walked the other way,
When you bled their feelings dry
Why they begged for you to stay,
What's the power in your touch
That makes them give it all away,
What kind of darkness in their lives
Turns the hopeless into slaves ;
I want to peek behind your eyes
And see the demons sleeping there,
To watch them run from the light
When they wake up in the glare,
In every corner of your mind
I want to see what's lurking there,
What you have stolen I will share
And finally see just what it takes
To make the fearless truly scared ;
All the dreams you've been selling them,
Just cotton candy laced with poison,
All the lies you've been telling them,
Leave them to rot with all your carrion,
But I know where you've buried them,
Now I'm digging up your skeletons ;
I can hear those bodies howl,
Pleading from their holes,
Begging me to burn your graveyard down,
Rip the whitewash from your soul ;
I'm digging up your skeletons ;
A contest entry
- a subtle inquiry into love and darkness by harlequin shadow.
900 points, ended June 21, 2008, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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While I find myself grown to the over thought, highly self saturated poetry, that’s per my taste. There’s simplicity with your piece that really makes me see that juvenile tone I’ve distanced myself from. I don’t know if it’s to your inclination, but I actually found this piece to be quite humorous. It does have the markings of the stereotypical “broken heart” gene, but with a very well executed sense of creativity. It’s not going to win anything in terms of tangible awards, but I can feel the footprints recessed into the ground of someone who has the potential to make a name for them self.
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Thanks for the thoughtful analysis. I then that writing lyrical poetry, meant for the use of musicians, I do tend to "play to the crowd". (My particular crowd anyway). It's a fine line to keep some pieces accessible for their purpose while retaining what I'm trying to say without going into a realm where it could no longer be used as a song. Thankfully "Poetry" has so many forms that perspective can be a major factor in who accepts a piece. I do tend to "thrill" the more musical audience as opposed to some of the other forms...we all have our alloted place thanfully.
Thanks again for your time and comments.
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AMAZING!!!!!!!!
This is so FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! This reminds of someone that I know. I loved it, GREAT JOB, with this! -
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Thanks so much, love the avatar! ALways an honor when someone finds something of value in a piece. It reminds me of a couple people I know/knew as well...lol
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wish I had more than....
these two applauds because this is the best thing I've read on this site. NO LIE. I'm telling the dead truth.
Something so dark so ... so I can't even think of words to speak. I love it I truely love it I hear this song on a cd in my stereo playing it's so good. I definitely have to read more of your stuff. ^^
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I kept hitting the wrong button when trying to reply!..lol Thanks so very much you are too too kind. As a lyricist I am always thrilled when someone recognizes the work as being meant for a song. This piece was written with the Riot Gyrrl band "Bitch Alert" in mind, it is they I imagine singing it when I wrote it. (Aside from myself of course..lol). Thanks again or your time and comment, it is always an honor and makes me blush.
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a good piece, raw and edgy with the language, all good as you take minds into the darker aspect of life and lies.
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