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[ I don't feel anymore ]

I don't feel anymore
I feel like I'm dying
Inside and out
Like my whole entire
Soul has just been
Ripped out
Before my very eyes
My body feels numb
and i can't move
I just sit
In silence
Screaming inside my head
Begging to be set free
from this agony
Sometimes i can't hear
My hearing just fades
Only thing that enters
Is that one sentence
That repeats it's self over and over again
"Kill, kill them all"
A steady beat in the words
Making my body move in a murderous temptation
but i stop
Refusing to kill
the ones that hurt me
I do it with all my power
I try so very hard
Then my vision
It turns pitch black
I can't see nothing
Only the weight of my body
dragging me down to the ground
Paralyzed by the sight of these things
I fall collapsing to the ground
Helpless
In a trance of death
Seeing my love one's die before my eyes
Seeing my closest friends deaths appear before me
Wishing so hard
That everytime
I see these things
That i could see my own
Death rush before me
No time to think
Just the silence of my death
Whispering in my ear

I don't know why i see these things
But i was born with the eyes of death
Eyes darker than abyss of hell
pupils dilated already
I have no heart beat
My heart doesn't speak
It just lays there
in its empty chamber
Of webs
Just ticking
Until my time has came to an end

You may think that the things
I say are pure lies
and that I'm crazy
But why don't you see for yourself
Look at my doctor records
They will tell you
My heart doesn't beat
Look at my eye doctor records
They can tell you
that my eyes are
already dilated
like I'm a corpse from the dead

The only thing i wish for
Is to see my own death
and not the ones
I love to die
before my eyes

I would trade my eyes
any day
but sometimes
I wish i was blind

This is the person, that you see before your very eyes

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • demonic66
    May 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow


  • kitty23
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow
    i didnt really know you had all these feelings
    well i mean you told me once or maybe twice that you had strong impolses of these things

    but i couldnt read alll of it
    short attention spand
    but i read like the first two paragraph of this poem

    very good though as much as i read

    keep up the great work here

    KITTY


  • XNevermindX
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, so much emotion and pain in this, especially in relation to death. The power of the words is so evident...


  • Sound of Madness
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wishing to be loved but not seeing you were all along.
    These people would rather die than see you die, that I'm sure of. You're as importaint to them as they are to you. You're not "a corpse from the dead" because you have the ability to love. In order to know true love, you must feel some pain or else it isn't true love. Great work though.

  • DarkRomantic113
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Bloody brilliant. Very imaginative. Perhaps a glimpse into Jack the Ripper or Elizabeth Bathory. I am reminded of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, in which he heard voices in the wall telling him to kill.


  • Climax
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That's a little too much even for me...

    *Faints*


  • awaiting.deletion
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hm. it seems a bit over done, I wish you would have stopped after the first excruciatingly long stanza. I do like the emotion behind it, though. Relatively good job.


  • Boxingboy
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    PUBLISH okayokay sorry couldn't helpmyself

    um but well i don't know all i can say is keep the faith always keep the faith once you find the right person that special person that can unlock many wonders that you will love and the many wonders that will have you feeling great and the person that's only yours well you'll feel like life should never end


  • David. Enjoy.
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Only thing that enters
    Is that one sentence

    It turns pitch black
    I can't see nothing

    Seeing my love one's die before my eyes
    Seeing my closest friends deaths appear before me

    I have no heart beat...Just ticking


    These are only a few excerpts that kept me from really connecting to this piece. I don't want to trivialize its meaning, and I can certainly sense the sincerity, but if you want to lay yourself out naked like this, then a clear presentation is essential to make the piece effective to other people, which I know you can't be completely indifferent to since you asked me to read this.

    I know several people who feel this way, and I'm sure you know you're not alone, since you express that you actually do have loved ones despite your loss of feeling. Just keep tolerating waking up day by day, and perhaps one day you'll wake up as if you planned to.


  • DeathByFault
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    maow mesa sorry but everyone who wishes to change themselves wishes to die wishes to be reawaken in a different light. You feel like youre dead because your are nothing now rebuilding from the bottom up...changing whats inside(hopefully for the better) you wish to see others in your pain but then again what does that solve but put the world into a dark shamefull place where nobody even agknowledges their own existance...its very well written...flowing like a fierce river it rides the rapids of who you are and who the world believes you to be defying everything except for what you know is true...time will pass and through this time will things change...change is for the good yet it can be scary but it happens as long as youre willing to happen hiding yourself in a shell that noone even knows exists is something most of us do thanks for finally breaking your shell


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is something that I can relate to in many ways. all of my life I've known nothing except pain. its hard for me to exist in a world that doesn't understand, that not everything is going to be happy happy. I wish too the same things and have many times over. like I am trapped in a body, or a hell that doesn't want me there.
    sorry for the rambling

    excellent poem

    k


  • Wake Up Dead
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very very sad...

    well written and i hope you feel better soon


  • Wings of Insanity
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yes this is really me, i know im a freak of nature


    • Boxingboy
      May 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      no your not

      you one of a kind and someone will always think your special


    • Bound-In-20-Chains
      May 22, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Na...I've felt the same...or something very close...


      It was awesome. lol I liked it, it had a really good flow and everything. lol


      But maybe it's a bit different feeling, I dono...'s more something induced by abuse as a small child, specially spiritual abuse with satanic stuff...I think...for me...


  • baby5
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    omg

    im so sorry u feel this way if u need to talk im here for you


  • Chet W.
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    is this really you? what agony?

1 - 17 of 17