Cement would crumble should I cave in to it now,
this weight wanting to break loose;
Anger swinging me into action.
But I fall on feathers:
pillow-soft promises
pressing face
Author notes
sculpture - Patricia Cronin
Memorial to a Marriage
30 words
In a list
A contest entry
- 30 words by Melissa Gayle.
500 points, ended June 1, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Told to make an impact and you go literal... knocking people over with a feather.
Great first line; like the caving in with wanting to break loose and instead fall onto promises.
Very well done!
Marlene -
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ty so much for your kind comments....
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CarolDesjarlais
Very well done Dear. Love the visuals it gives. Good luck with it.
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wel, I tried...lol...ty for commenting.
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Beautiful and meaningful words, my Friend
~ Nicky♥
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ya gets it doncha!
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detailed tuggingly
this has a stirring and reversing of stanzas
nice separation of two positions for verses. the first has trouble without shock absorber around, that top line powerfully relating.
then the pleasing discovery to not disregard views so as to not feel abandoned to our own way, of emotion and otherwise. the soft language of the last sounds like an honored relationship or placing yield for looking forward to that still, rather than destructuctively opening to influence of opposite kind.
wound doesn't have to go wrong but heal... helped and by not banging it, sort of as sparrow can go by as our raised eyebrow.
good moment and magnification,
babies are my subject -
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ty for such an indpth comment on the poem....of course I need to show both sides....as does the sculpture itself...the hard expression of something soft.
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How wonderful...
What a brilliant write as always...
Sigh~
Lynda
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Youa re always so kind...ty for following after me...
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Lovely sculpture & poem!
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ty hiraeth
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