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Exhale

irregular danced light
is pirouetting
show and shade

between the beauty
and the bland of
silhouetted smoke swirls

I exhale

 

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    May 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The first line threw me, it seemed off for some reason -

    otherwise the rest is well done.


  • marlene47 silver member
    May 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, takes you to a strange land between beauty and bland.
    Like it!
    Marlene

  • Kay Laon Anders
    May 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yes indeed...


  • cheaphotelsign
    May 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awesome...i LOVE this....hypnotic...i love to exhale... watching lit smoke. this is so very smooth..flowing rich...brilliant