Forgiveness is the answer,and letting go is best.
Though aware it hurts her more
to keep them in her head, their denial and defenses
make her hate them more instead.
A deep freeze of numbness
quells the rage within.
The anger is her shadow side;
she walks among the living dead.
Their evil assessments
seared into her soul.
An inherent feeling of guilt and shame;
worthless, unlovable, and damaged goods.
Then the perils of silence became more painful
than the risk of speaking out,
and once again,
not protected, not believed.
A deep freeze of numbness
quells the rage within.
The anger is her shadow side;
she walks among the living dead.
Author notes
My battle to let go and forgive for good.
The Best of AP
A contest entry
- Prompts! Pic and quote!!! by Angelflower.
715 points, ended May 24, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Green Trophies into Bronze, Silver or Gold by FloridaGatorQueen.
600 points, ended June 29, 2008, 63 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best of the Best by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended May 25, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Kinda Whatever by Redeemed15.
600 points, ended September 2, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANGER...a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt...what does it speak to you? by ears2hearyou.
850 points, ended September 3, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ENTER WHAT YOU THINK IS GOOD by DarkHunter.
450 points, ended September 5, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 49 of 49
-
There is something deeper here than anger; it seems the piece focuses more on pain. It's a flawless piece, but I feel maybe not angry enough for this contest. HOWEVER, it will be kept in very careful consideration, as I really enjoyed it.
Best of luck and thanks for entering! -
-
Thanks much for your comment. I guess what I was trying to portray in this poem, is that the rage does not feel safe to expose, so it is pushed down deep, but in the end it comes out in different ways, such as a shadow side. I see your point too though. All creativity is open to interpretation and that is a great thing. Blessings, Patty
-
-
This piece is somehow beautiful, but I can't exactly put my finger on it.
-
very nicely written. Another good write and I can see how this one also won so many trophies. This is well written and full of emotions. And I like how you kept saying that she walked among the living dead. Sometimes I too feel that way. Thanks for joining my contest.
-
ty for your entry good luck
-
Wow, this is absolutely beautiful. So full of emotion and pain. This part jumps out at you and stays in your head.
A deep freeze of numbness
quells the rage within.
The anger is her shadow side;
she walks among the living dead.
Very good.
good luck in the AODP contest!
-
(AODP) This is sort of fantastical; I like it. It seems like you have won plenty of awards with this one and they're well deserved. Peace.
-
Forgiveness is the answer,and letting go is best.
Though aware it hurts her more
to keep them in her head, their denial and defenses
make her hate them more instead.
A deep freeze of numbness
quells the rage within.
The anger is her shadow side;
she walks among the living dead.
(This is my favorite part)
This poem has so much emotion.
You really put your heart and soul into this.
That's why I love it so much.
Their evil assessments
seared into her soul.
An inherent feeling of guilt and shame;
worthless, unlovable, and damaged goods.
(This part I love more than the other part I showed you I liked.)
You chose such powerful words.
You really know how to make someone else feel the way you are feeling.
Good luck in the contest!!
-
-
Thanks so much! I am glad you like it. Blessings, Patty
-
-
A deep freeze of numbness
quells the rage within.
The anger is her shadow side;
she walks among the living dead.
I loved it all! Every line brought me a new thought about the poem. There are so many words that I could use to describe this, but I don't know where to start!
Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x -
Very powerful wording, with a haunting truth that echos throughout this land to those who know.
Thank you for submitting this.
-
Finally.
A good piece of poetry.
I've been searching all night for something that I don't have to correct. :]
Thank you for entering and good luck ♥
-Rainbow. -
So many of us walk among the living dead.
-
For my own situation I have tried to forget what he did to me but now hes back and hes going to do it to other girls. Maybe you are trying to say forgive yourself as well, but i can't live knowing some other girl who is like i was will get hurt because I did everything in my power to get rid of this man so he couldn't hurt another person
beautiful write though
Rose
-
-
I understand what you are saying but forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. I could never forget either and I have not reached forgiveness either. That is why I feel I walk with the living dead. The reason I brought all the secrets out in my family was because I didn't want him to continue what he was doing to others. Thanks for your comment. Blessings, Patty
-
-
i agree that forgetting is not the same as forgiving but both take time in doing so. I was getting really far along and then they let him back into the school and so all those mixed emotions ive been forgetting are coming up because i know hes going to hurt another girl only this time it might be worse..
-
-
-
I really like this...i can feel everything you write!!! Its just so hard sometimes to let go and move on! Thank you and good luck!
-
a different idea, i too have gone through something like this, and this is a perfect description, a tad cloudy in places, but a perfect pice none the less
this is a beautiful poem
-
Amen, amen!
this was me dear poetess not so long ago.
I asked Father God...why must this continue...
when will the nightmare end...
and after one year many answers became clearly evident.
If I had never known this sorrow, or deep despair,
or the pain of peeling thru the layers to find
joy, and clear again....
then I never would have written one word of poetry,
or held the hand of another mother....who cries tears
of letting go..to embrace power not enabling,
or forgiveness instead of hate or agony of soul.
Hope is not a fantasy to me.
ears/Seattle
way to write!
way to live boldly!
-
-
Thank you so much for your heartfelt comment. Blessings, Patty
-
-
Powerful, well thought out piece, well deserving of the awards it has received. I often pick out specific lines in a poem that I like and mention them but in this poem I really liked it from beginning to end. Nice write!!
-
wow I really like this you did an excellent job I thank you for entering it I am adding you to the finalist list
-
-
Thank you so much for your kind comment. Blessings, Patty
-
-
thank you for entering. very nice poem! I truely loved it! so wonderfully written. good luck and don't stop doing what you do best!
-
"Their evil assessments
seared into her soul.
An inherent feeling of guilt and shame;
worthless, unlovable, and damaged goods"
That stanza really struck me. This is beautifully written and was a very emotional read for me. Thanks for sharing it with me!
-Odyssey
-
-
Thanks so much! Patty
-
-
Free Verse at it's best!
A powerful pen of pain born of abuse struggling to forgive...what so many people these days just sweep under the rug and allow them to become bitter souls.
Congratulations on dealing with it and your wins!
Regards,
Jennifer
-
Wonderful poem
I love this poem, it is so rich in meaning. I particulary like the first stanza depiciting the struggle the author has with anger and forgiveness. I can certainly relate. Thanks I enjoyed reading this. Well done!
-
Congrats on your gold
-
This is a cool poem. I think everybody fights the battle you fight. I know sometimes it is hard for me to forgive people. Eventually you have to though. I enjoyed the poem. Thank you for entering my contest.
-
Been there
Letting go of something that hurts so much you would think an easy thing to do, not so easy if you've walked down that road. This poem is another worthy effect by you and I command you for sharing your work to the big wide cruel world, as others will eventually read your poem and know they are not alone. -
THE SOLUTION FOR MANKIND MY FRIEND.
WE CARRY AN ENOMOUS AMOUNT OF BAGAGE.
WE ARE NOT EVEN AWARE OF IT.
IT STEELS THE JOY RIGHT OUT OF US.
SO MANY SUPERFICIAL BURDENS.
EXCELLENT MY FRIEND
ABSOLUTELY EXCELLENT!
GOD BLESS...
-
powerful
Hi Patty,
Your write is a very powerful one indeed.The theme, well I can relate to it so much.It is very hard to let go of anger and learn to forgive.Your poem speaks volumes my friend.I am still trying to let go of the anger and forgive the man that took the life of my mother at her young age of 57, he beat her just once to many,now she leaves behind 6 children and many grandchildren who miss her trerribly.Forgiveness is a hard thing to learn.
I take my hat off to you for a writting such a great poem.
Take care dear friend and many blessings to you.
your friend in poetry,
~Angel~
-
The line breaks in stanza 1 are an odd choice that I don't think work so well...and a comma after 'aware' could help.
The language used in this is much too melodramtic.
"Their evil assessments seared into her soul" an example.
My suggestion would be to pare this down, particularly rid this of some adjectives..too many bog a poem down.
I do like what you say in this.
-
-
I agree with the line break problem in the first stanza, but if one has lived through what I did, they would understand that this really isn't melodramatic. It is very real to me. Thanks for the imput though. We are all here to learn and grow. Blessings, Patty
-
-
This was deep, and very thought provoking. You've done well. Thanks for your entry
Kari
-
I know the feeling of this last line.
-
Congratulations on Honorable mention my friend. Forgiveness is such a strange bird because so often when we belive it has been set free, it flies home again to roost and remind us of injury. I have come to know you a little bit and find this write right down your alley. There is a place inside you that is restless constantly to keep the anger down and let the beauty out. It is a hard wire to balance and your writing seems to release it. Glad we have become a duo in our efforts to talk to the world around us. RC
-
-
Thanks Robin. You have hit the nail on the head with this. I am finding that no matter how much healing I have done, another layer comes to the surface every now and then. I believe anger is a tough one for me because I have never felt safe enough or comfortable enough to express it. So, there have been many years of stuffing it down. I guess this is my next layer in the healing process. I truly hope you are feeling more rested and calm than you have been. I will talk to you again soon. Patty
-
-
Ouch
This expresses the pain in a way only a survivor can. Even now, when I think I'm way past the hurt, it sneaks up on me and tries to tell me lies. Hold strong and keep reaching for the power of forgiveness.
-
I just wrote a piece called "Heart to hurt" that could be a powerful answer to this...
-
This was truly a dark write,
Yet it was written as if she was in
a struggle really..
You expressed a lot of anger and yet
confusion in this write..
I really loved what you did here.
And I'm sure that many have been where you are
now.. It is very hard to forgive and
let go.. It takes time and a lot of effort I think..
But in the end it's worth it..
Bravo... You did a wonderful job on the prompt..
Best of luck..
Angel
-
I can feel the rage and hurt in this poem, and that it is intensified and doubly painful because of (their) denial.
The final stanza is especially powerful
-
Takes time to forgive other's and their betrayls felt towrds us. Time is on your side, as are the shadows that live amoung the living dead!
~Sie
-
Deep
Forgiveness come from a place of love and understanding, it makes us stronger and helps us heal. This is distinctly different than forgetting or denial. The flip side of forgiveness is hoarding resentment and allowing it to consume us like a cancer. We are all capable of love and forgiveness, it takes time but entirely possible.
-
Amazing
Mama you did a wonderful job with this. I know that you will win this one. Life can be so hard and it can really stir things up. But in time everything will be just fine. It just takes awhile to forget and forgive. And even longer to remember. I know that there are those days, when you want to just give up and say who cares, when all you're doing is hurting so much more inside. But I believe in you and I know that things will be allright.
Thank you for sharing this with me.
It is marvelous.
You're a winner!!
Have a great day!
~Only1love4ever -
To forgive is a hard thing to do, yet a command from God. Excellent job!
-
What a Challenge.
The ability to forgive is not one that comes easy for me personally. I enjoyed the personal feel this poem has and relate to it immensely. Good luck in the contest!
-
Amazing I understand what you mean in it. I love how you repeat that one par
Adding your comment:
1 - 49 of 49
