She lays there
your wasteland
protruding bones
sallow flesh.
she says there was a time
that she was beautiful
your sweaty hands
leave trails on her
breasts
like snails
guile replaced by cynicism
and Marlboro Lights
you remind her of a potato sack
lumpy and beige
you leave
and a sigh of relief
at least you tipped well.
A contest entry
- Woman in a motel by AJ Morelli.
2000 points, ended May 27, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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this is really nice, i think a better use of line breaks could really make this pop...
thanks so much for entering this here...
al -
Excellent! Amazing imagery and story, good luck!
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this was a very nice contest piece here hon i really enjoyed this good luck in the contest it was a pleasure
-
Wow, this is intense. I love the imagery and the final stanza really puts the whole thing into perspective. What a great take on the prompt, and good luck in the contest.
Garrison
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