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untitled

She lays there
your wasteland
protruding bones
sallow flesh.

she says there was a time
that she was beautiful

your sweaty hands
leave trails on her
breasts
like snails

guile replaced by cynicism
and Marlboro Lights
you remind her of a potato sack
lumpy and beige

you leave
and a sigh of relief
at least you tipped well.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    this is really nice, i think a better use of line breaks could really make this pop...


    thanks so much for entering this here...


    al

  • Mallig gold member
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent! Amazing imagery and story, good luck!


  • theredcatjazzoflove gold member
    May 22

    Edit | Reply
    this was a very nice contest piece here hon i really enjoyed this good luck in the contest it was a pleasure

  • CaliOkie silver member
    May 22

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is intense. I love the imagery and the final stanza really puts the whole thing into perspective. What a great take on the prompt, and good luck in the contest.

    Garrison