Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Walking In Solitude

Walking in solitude,
A shattered piece of soul,
In the midst of woods,
As alone in the world I stroll;

My dreams fade away,
Just a stroke of time ago,
As the trees sing and sway,
Stricken at heart here I go;

Came down the rain on me,
Made me wet,
Across the pain I see,
My eyes go wet;

When I came to the path,
Travelling all alone,
A bit of chance I hath,
Hath I the fruit sown;

But the case is different,
Like a shooting star I broke,
Though how long could I repent,
Stood up with spirit and stroke;

The clouds vanished in sky,
Came out the twinkling stars,
I felt relief with a sigh,
I learnt a lesson from the stars,

The clouds may be thick and stout,
May blanket over the stars,
One day they will fade out,
Revealing the sparkling stars.

*~*Aun Ali*~*
{Lead by Example}

Author notes

Hey its me again, Aun Ali.

and I choose:

4. Write me a song, about the lonliness that comes with a broken heart.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • NooNiThEWitcH
    June 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very beautiful .. though more of a poem than a song! I always think songs need at least one chorus to be repeated throughout..

    Just a thingy here: "Made me wet," I think it should be 'make' instead of 'made' because so far you've been speaking in the present so there's no need to shift to the past.

    Otherwise, I LOVE THIS POEM!! IT IS ONE OF YOUR BEST!!

    Keep on writing,
    Nooni


  • darlintlc silver member
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice...

    "The clouds may be thick and stout,
    May blanket over the stars,
    One day they will fade out,
    Revealing the sparkling stars"

    Beautiful words of hope!!
    good luck in the contest
    darlintlc


    • Aun Ali
      May 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you my friend, goodluck in life and may the path that you choose to walk be always a path of success and vernal bloom.


  • Georgia La Mariposa
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was fantastic, I really loved it it's so original and poignant, thanks so much for your entry


    • Aun Ali
      May 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment dear sister, its just a twist of pen dedicated to your self. I think your contest motivated my pen to twist this way.

1 - 5 of 5