An eternity in a frame I see
A portrait of me looking back at me
But behind my lid's I can see my age
My river of life turned to puddles of beige
As I longingly grasp for an image of youth
I Pretend I can't find the burden of truth
A captured decade of the past I see
Becomes an echo of lies and debris
As I look at the appearance of wrinkles and lace
I see an old lovely painted up face
But the color's have run to the looking glass crack
And the beauty can't seem to find it's way back
I guess we're all lucky the glass didn't break
I'll find a reflection that flatterers make
A flaw in the world of a little white lie
A reason to make a younger man sigh
A desert that's thirsty for lotion thats free
And a woman's reflection that's not really me
Author notes
Prompt: Time
I wrote this for a "Reflections" contest...by Folklor. the prompt was :Reflections.
A contest entry
- Reflections by Folklor.
461 points, ended May 29, 2008, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking for favorites of my favorites by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended February 9, 38 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think?
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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WONDERFUL!
"But behind my lid's I can see my age
My river of life turned to puddles of beige"
Those two lines, I thought were just so perfectly worded; I know that you needed it to rhyme, but how great it was, because beige - that just immediately made me think of a photo that's faded, and turned to that yellowy beigey colour -
Thus making me feel in the past immediately! Very capably written!
Thanks fro entering
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Oh, what a true and personal write. I can really relate to this one. Nicely done! Thanks for entering my contest. It's a pleasure to read your work!
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What a beautiful write sis. Time has a way of changing our looks. We may not like it but not much we can do about it. Wonderful rhyme and it flows perfectly.
Best of luck in the contest.
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i enjoyed reading this poem - the rhyme wasn't forced, and it flowed smoothly. the content of the poem was sharp & insightful.
the images and word choices suited the poem well. my favorite line was:"my river of life turned to puddles of beige" because beige is such a good color to describe the feeling the poem is conveying
thanks so much for entering
best of luck in the contest! -
The good thing to remember here is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder ;-). This was very very nicely written. I hope you do well in the contest :-)
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love it!
exactly what I was looking for.
you are sooo great at this
its strange how one day you look at yourself...and you are so suprised -
Thank you for your entry in the contest with this very interesting and thoughtful poem. The imagery is excellent.
All the best in the contest.
Sue and Jeff
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Great piece!
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Very well written
Good imagery
Nice rhymes
amazing pattern
great idea
To sum it all up --- it was very well written -
Very good, good luck in my contest
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First, congrats on your gold; smile, and then this is so well written and crafted, loved the underlying flow and rhythm, just all around swell lol
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!@#$%^&* Mirrors Anyway!
"And a woman's reflection that's not really me"
This is a great finishing line. Truthful, rueful humor delivered with grace made possible only with time.
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my favorite lines:
A desert that's thirsty for lotion and cream
And a woman's reflection that's not really me
this is quality poetry throughout
it 'paints' a great picture
the gold is definately deserved
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Exceptional write! Great lines, insightful thoughts, excellent rhyme and flow! Well deserving of the Gold!
Congratulations!
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I TRUELY CAN RELATE TO THIS ONE,
I REALLY MISS MY TWENTY YEAR OLD FACE
I DO BELIEVE THIS GIRL HAS GREAT... TALENT
AND WONDERFUL SENSE OF HUMOR.
God bless...
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Wow! EVERYONE! THIS IS THE POEM TO BEAT perfect metter, rhyme and structure, there was a fantastic build up towards the end. great juxtaposition of age and time. it was fantastic.
this absolutely blew me away. -
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Thanks, folklor.
I'm so glad you liked my poem, I love your poems, too.
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Oh indeed
This is soul searching and touched me because for some reason I picture you writing this sitting at a table by the window, the lace curtains hide the rain that inspired your soul to pen up and tell the world how you felt at that moment.
Love it.
Terry
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Very Heartfelt Poem
You have penned a nice poerm about life and how it affects our looks. Some grow od gracefully while others grow old before their time. I say laughter and smiles and a good sense of humor along with compassion go a long way in keeping people young at heart no matter their age. Excellent write!!!
Bless You,
Sandy
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thnx for the comment,
The woman in the poem ' really isn't me.' Not yet, anyway! I'm glad you liked it. -
Aw, I think this is really good, quite sad really,
especially the ending. I suppose we have to accept ourselves for what we are, no matter how hard it is at times,
well done and good luck in the contest,
Floorboards.
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