hidden cries, deep demise,
stop this torture behind these hazel eyes,
I'm tainted with blood against these wrists,
many lines are drawn in red,
yet the pain i feel still consists,
when will this all end,
constant torture,
constant pain,
never anything to ever gain,
its killing me everyday,
I'm even saying the words,
i don't usually say, "Ive given up, Ive given in"
don't tell me Ive committed another sin,
God won't save me nobody will,
I'm feeling this icy cold chill,
of loneliness, of nothingness,
of standing here frightened so damn still,
if you wish to shout and scream,
feel free, watch my knife gleam,
if you want to cause me pain,
tell me all that you feel for me,
hatred, pity, agony,
if i sleep tonight,ill wish i wasn't here,
and then ill wake up still feeling
n
o
t
h
i
n
g
Author notes
hope its OK for yew,
=D love you
A contest entry
- MaliciousNightmare - Picture and Quote prompts!!! by Zenda-Lokki.
450 points, ended June 2, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me what you think?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Interesting concept. Congrats on the bronze trophy. I like your vocab selection on this poem. It ties together from the beginning all the way up until the end.
Mylee -
Hello Lost Vampyre Angel. This is a powerful write, the pain, anguish and torment is very evident, as the internal thoughts, emotions, and beliefs of the writer has been described well. My regards.
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forever hurt forever covered in ur blood i can't hide anymore i can't fight again i have lost the ability to stand only to have this knife in my hand. step away don't touch me i say u don't understand this pain today may be my last day. don't touch me don't take my wrist and pull me into ur embrase i am paying in each second of the day when will i have nothing else to pay? when will i not awake to the next sun rise? when will the pain this un fightable pain take my life away?
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aww so sad!!
Well wrtten for sure, but another dagger to the chest... ye tormented soul
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You are so passionate in your writing. So dark - I love it. I feel for you, I can relate. Keep writing - you are extremely talented.
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So great in writng so passionite so evil I love it.
this well be the first poem I applause.
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thanks for the five stars and rock on. \_/
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OOh.. you did a wonderful job hun.. I love so many parts but if I put them all here then I would just be writing the whole thing again..
great job!!! 
Angel
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Loving the background too x You're so good at them hun x
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Wow, wonderfully dark, rich text full of emotionally charged cries for help. This write could reflect us both.
Just excellant Bri, I love it.
My favourite part:
"if you want to cause me pain,
tell me all that you feel for me,
hatred, pity, agony"
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