to sleep within her layers
we fall past edges
hidden when a moon winks slow.
to dark mystery of ancient light,
we sing circles beyond
the reach of prosaic naked-
the kind shunned by small mind
and bible-handed certainty.
our eyes do not avert
between blinks
as we claw toward the naked buried
with eve.
like her, cast out
to tend the desert lonely,
we touch creation
with subtle hand and wicked lip.
Author notes
Word count: 74
Edits: 3
In a list
A contest entry
- Naked by AJ Morelli.
2500 points, ended June 3, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
-
oh kate, you alway have such an interesting take on contest prompts that it is always exciting to see what you've done with each... this is no exception
i like the word layers in the first line, it prepares the reader for the rest of the imagery that follows
the line "our eyes do not avert" reminds me of the Kurosawa quote "To be an artist means never to avert one's eyes." which is a good thing
S5 is my fav and i also love the juxtaposition in the closing line...
and the title is perfect
al
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"The kind shunned by small mind and bible-handed certainty..." Wooooooh...now that is line worth
reading for its simple but LOUD message
I love this poem, kiddo. Thank you for posting. Love, Lan
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