Oh Lord, Lord God most high, God of all the Christian martyrs,
God of love, God of fire, God of holy vengance, God of all the saints and martyrs.
Hear us oh Lord, hear us now, hear us as we cry out for vengance, hear us oh Lord, hear us as we weep, hear us as we cry out for justice.
For many long years we have wandered upon the Earth, we have travelled many dark and lonely roads, for many long years we have wandered upon the Earth, we have travelled many long and lonely roads.
We have walked across the desert, the burning sun our only guide, we have slept under cold and bitter stars, we have sailed across the ocean, no home for us is found, we have slept under cold and restless stars.
Hear us oh Lord, hear us as we weep, hear us as we cry out for vengance, hear us oh Lord, hear us as we weep, hear us as we cry out for justice.
Our enemies have raped us, they have stripped us to the bone, they have broken down the walls of our homes, our enemies have raped us, they have stripped us to the bone, they have defiled all our holy places.
We have watched in horror,at genocide unfolding, we have been the targets of pistol and machine gun fire, we have looked on in horror, at genocide unfolding, we are the victims of pistol and machine gun fire.
Who are we oh Lord? What name should we give ourselves? Who are we that we should make such claims? Who are we oh Lord? What name should we give ourselves? Who are we that we should make these claims?
We are the lost and the forgotten, despised upon the Earth, we are the victims of ethnic cleansing, we are the weak and the forgotten, despised upon the Earth, we are little more than shadows and fog.
We are the mothers of Palestine and of Israel too, we are mourning our lost sons and daughters, we are the mothers of Palestine and of Israel too, we are grieving our lost generation.
We are the victims of Darfur, lost to famine and the plague, we are no more than shadows and fog, we are the ghosts of Darfur, lost to famine and the plauge, we are little more than shadows and fog.
We are homeless, we are in exile, forced to flee ancestral lands, we are little more than shadows and fog, we are homeless, we are in exile, forced to flee ancestral lands, we are little more than shadows and fog.
We will wander lonely roads, until a home for us is found, we will sleep under cold and bitter stars, we will wander lonely roads, until a home for us is found, we will sleep under cold and restless stars.
We will crawl across the desert, until a home for is found, we will weep under cold and bitter stars, we will sail across the ocean, until a home for us is found, we will sleep under cold and restless stars.
A contest entry
- Round Contest! Round 1 of 4. Everyone welcome. by FightOffYourDemons.
350 points, ended June 11, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Everyone's a Critic by dewfall.
800 points, ended October 18, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - North Korea by unknownpleasure.
400 points, ended December 16, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Stun me. by heavenbird.
590 points, ended December 5, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Politics Of Damage by Redrusty66.
800 points, ended December 16, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any honest comments and thoughts appreciated!
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Very intense piece. Great use of vocabulary to create quite the dicotomy of mood. You created a plethora of imagery and left it open to personal interpretation. Very well written and entertaining. Thanks for the great read.
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This is very well written, and I enjoyed reading it very much.
It was full of emotion and beautiful imagery.
I like it very much. =]
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Amazing prayer. Full of deep emotions. Good luck in the contest
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good
excellent...and i am not even a christian. -
I need to rinse...
It's really quite a noel experience to come away from a poem wanting to spit the sand, sweat, tears, and blood from your mouth. I've followed the crisis myself for a time and would love to see some of the bureaucrats that won't let anyone end it read this. I love that it was ALWAYS We, Our, Us. Splendid. Now if I can focus again....
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This is incredible.
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Living History
My first impression is sadness. I like the inclusion of so many areas of the world were horrible carnage had occured and is occuring. You are not "fog and shadows ".
These horrors continue to take place. You have recognised our ultimate cry for sanity lies in our prayers. Given our current crisis, I have to wonder if many more of us will be sleeping under stars.Unfortunately many already do and as you have.
We must pray for every bad situation. GOD Bless YOU.
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Another good write you have here.... though this, like the other poem I read of yours could benefit from some editing. Sometimes a phrase doesn't have to be repeated eactly the same way... a more lyrical approach would be to use the phrase fully such as "until a home for us is found" and then the second time only say "until a home is found." Just take a a critical look and don't be afraid to cut and chop... and the poem will be even more beautiful.
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I think the length and all the religion really threw me on this one. I am not even sure how to critique it. The reasons I am not in love with it don't have anything to do with your poetic abilities so it doesn't seem fair to critique you about them.
I think i will have to think about this one and maybe read it over another time or two and then maybe edit this then if my opinion changes
In any case thanks for te eentry -
woah this was loooong and to tell you the truth im not religous but overall a good write
-GOREgous GORE
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I agree with the below comment - this had a lyrical feel to it... the words echo in my mind. A good theme to, one that lots of people feel the same way about. Thanks for sharing this! Can't wait to read more from you.
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
There is a lot of depth to this work. Moreso than a prayer, to me it is a plea to the Mighty One to save us from our own destruction. And as I sit and read this, I can literally put this to music and make a song out of it. The repetition adds strength to the thoughts. Nicely written.
Welcome to AP. If you have any questions or need help with anything, feel free to IM me.
Keep expressing through writing.
Storm
Site Greeter
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