she had protracted winter
painted on her lips
asked for change
and very little more
Author notes
15 words
In a list
A contest entry
- 15 words by Melissa Gayle.
600 points, ended May 22, 2008, 32 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
Again I felt a shiver of melancholy while reading. "Protracted winter" ... opens the mind to consider so many possibilities; whether her lips might've been chapped by the cold winter air ... perhaps cold in terms of their own temperature (or for lack of the blushfulness lips possess when just kissed). Perhaps "protracted" in the sense of being "drawn out" ... "over-long" ... and her wish is for them to know the blossoms and promises of spring ... for her heart to know of different ways.
Your few words drive my mind a thousand miles into distant thoughts. I can see you are a writer capable of making me dwell a long time on a few words.
Excellent stuff ...
-
you have used an al-luring style of writing this is so gold i agree with everyone below!
-
you are just so damn good.
-
yes. gold.
a little change
we all need that..
m
-
A well deserve win.
excellent
-
Sure would like to hear more of this story!
The joyless disenchantment persevering.
Congratulations on the gold.
Marlene -
Definitely deserving of the gold - a powerful write.
-
Very effective. Congratulations. ~ Joyce
-
excellent. there is nothing else to say.
-
Lovely penned and the theme in this write is quite sad!
In 15 words, you've written a lesson within the story here, too
-
Winter cracks when worn on lips too long.. very painful
Nothing better than a little change when winter has passed.
-
too good.
-
I do know about Taurus.... but let me say now more about that, lol.
This is a great piece with so many nuances.
Wonderful poetry.
~ Nicolette
-
its very beautiful ... a little sad .. the title is interesting as is the tense...
-
Wow, this is such a nice image a tells a meaningful story in so few words. Very clever.
-
seasonal kisses and 'love in a cold climate' this one touches me mr blur, yes it does
-
Gorgeous write... I like it... Winter Painted on lips... gorgeous. ^_^
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
