Hands pressing symphonic keys,
until truth unveiled,
cries dissolved somewhere in throat,
eyes hollow
trying to pierce through farce,
accidental smile
snatched away brutally,
soul picking frayed pieces
to reneedle.
Author notes
Picture-Remnants of a Phantom
By ~MidgetMe
In a list
A contest entry
- PIF Quickie by ShadowsMidnightRose.
600 points, ended May 24, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - on the dark side ... prewrites ok by b497.
300 points, ended June 25, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I really tried hard to make some sense of the first line metaphor is buried too deep for me to get it..if there is one.
the 2nd stanza is excellent, well written, consise, evocative.
Was this for an image contest? it seems you just stuck in that first part just to make it fit the image.
without the image...do you think anyone would understand where you got that from? I know I wouldn't.
your piece has to make sense without an image.
the pity of this is that it does fit the image, without
the first part. Take that part out. You'll be good to go.
i appologise in advance, if I'm just being dense about it.
Even still to the finals you go...
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WOW! Love the haunting quality of this write! Best to you in the contest!
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Thank you so much!
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Wonderful
Excellent word choice for the prompt. You did great. Best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you
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This is an excellent interpretation of the picture. You penned it well!
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck...
on!
V
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Wow.. this is fascinating and brilliant!! Love that pic and you have captured it perfectly
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Thanks a lot for your encouraging words...
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