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In the end you chose another

In the darkness I waited
Waited for you to save me
But you never came
You just left me here
On the verge of death
Not even bothering to say good bye
Why didnt you come to me?
Why did you stay away?
All you had to do was be here
Just to stay for a while
But in the end you chose another
You didnt even think about me
You just left me here
Waiting in the darkness

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • zeroabyss
    August 30
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    Makes you never want to feel or trust ever again.
    Like solitude and numbness truely are the best choices to just to be able to cope and exist.

  • This is an awesome poem. I like the way you let your anger and hurt feelings flow. I know what it is like for a guy to chose another. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
  • I thought this was alright. But the words seem tired and like I’ve read them all before. The subject is age old so the delivery needs to be fresher and newer for this to sounds original. The line "On the verge of death" seems melodramatic, maybe even silly, unless you are actually talking about being left whilst physically dying. In which case, more needs to be given to that, cause it’d be a strong theme. More poetical devices (metaphor, simile, alliteration maybe) and a snappy title would lift this a lot.
  • that was excellent. Sometimes I feel like that as well.

  • ERiN-SELfY
    June 11
    Edit | Reply

    You Did It!

    i can officially say your my twin i feel so much like you in so many ways!
  • if i weren't point poor i'd give you 3 applause!
  • oooh damn!

    love it. powerful and short!

  • erica
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    omg i luv ur poem!!

  • I can relate and whats even worse is when you were there to lift them out of the darkness and you fell in but then they just walk away. good job. thank you
1 - 9 of 9