fire is burning my eyes
smoke is rising above my head
brain is flaming
fire is burning my eyes
why I don't know
fire is burning my eyes
in order to destroy my senses
fire is burning my eyes
smoke is rising above my head
brain is flaming
and to end it I am lost without hope.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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It's repetitive, but I think you meant it to be that way. I like the scheme.
The last line was good.
I like the 3rd stanza the best though.
Just something about it.
"fire is burning in my eyes
in order to destroy my senses"
Kudos.
Sincerely,
dovey ~



