In my best efforts
to do good,
I shot my neighbour
and my priest.
A contest entry
- 15 words by Melissa Gayle.
600 points, ended May 22, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SHORT PREWRITES! QUICKIE! by ItaloEtkin.
870 points, ended April 8, 98 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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hahaha thats funny
in a weird way -
yay! i like it....it's short somewhat sweet...and i like it....
i think shot is a good word but isn't quite fit for the poem...."shot" it seems kind of boring almost...yet at the same time for a short poem....it's okay...i love how the "my neighbor and my priest" could be the same person or two seperate people....
i hate "hardest efforts" you could've used better vocabulary.....overall it's a pretty good poem!
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good intentions don't always lead to good results... In 15 words I felt like you expressed one of the most stressful aspects of society... The pressures of tying to please every one... Not saying that I can decern exactly what you were thinking at the time that you wrote this.. it's just something that floats at the top of my mind that I was able to visualize when reading this ... thanks for sharing!!
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welcome to allpoetry
and hhmmm... first thing I did was laugh at this, but really, those two sorts of people are the ones that we always seem to be in some way trying to impress.
well done and good luck to you in the contest~
i you need any help with the site or have any questions shoot me a message.
cheers
Grey
Site Greeter
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Interesting piece.
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cool
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wow... uhhh... holy crap... Totally didn't expect that!! wow... all in all... holy crap!
Jessa♥
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This is kind of ironic... I don't know if you're trying to say that you couldn't do well, or that your neighbor and priest (possibly the same person? 
) were doing bad? Dunno, but an interesting short poem
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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