Affection stumbled in shadows,
as bloodstains bordered cell walls,
stuffing apathy into emotion.
The stars ignitedas flames were rekindled,
pretending to be casualties
when chaos was cloaked.
Gray asphalt provokes nostalgia,
paralyzing masked expressions
where simple sentencesexposed insecurity
and breakdowns were not songs
sung on musical chords
or choked voices,
but recessions into recollections -
vague memories you chose to forget.
[or forgot to remember]
But while you look in empty holesfor acceptance and conformity
of yourself,
the sun will fade,again.
Author notes
Prompt: When the horizon is fading
Time: 30 minutes or so
Ecrivain's Blog: Pitch Black
Me: Never Fall in Love
Theme: Losing myself
A contest entry
- 1hr by Ryno.
300 points, ended May 24, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For all of you Brilliant young Poets...20 and under.... by islekine.
750 points, ended June 8, 2008, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - laura's 50th-gold-trophy celebration by Immortal Obscurity.
400 points, ended July 4, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Now you tell me:
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
The stars ignited
as flames were rekindled,
pretending to be casualties
when chaos was cloaked.
oh wow.
I love the whole setup of this
it's gorgeous! -
"The stars ignited
as flames were rekindled,
pretending to be casualties
when chaos was cloaked."
&&
"[or forgot to remember]
But while you look in empty holes
for acceptance and conformity
of yourself,
the sun will fade,
again."
Are my favorite stanzas.
Thank you for entering and good luck ♥
-rainbow -
Great job on this one~ i read it several times through and it is very interesting...the words you used and how you used them was very artistic~ in short, i think this is an excellent write! keep it up, and good luck in the contest!
-
exceptional piece of poetry. your word usage was nothing less than terrific.
-
beautiful piece of poetry, really well done...peace
-
-
Thank you
-
-
This is a wonderful write! I really
enjoyed your entry....It is near perfect, in my book...
my final scores will come at end of judging...
Best wishes in the contest
Write on!
*PEACE*
-
hhmm, I'm going to get back to you on this one. ^_^
-
This is a marvelous poem ...
and well deserving of a trophy.
-
-
Thank you
-
-
I really like the dark atmosphere in this and the confusion and searching. There were some great abstract images. Well done Thank-you for the entry.
-
-
lol, I will kill ou one day with my abstractness. I think I'm just really scared that someone will find out what I'm really talking about and so cover it up. I'm hoping the insecurity passes
-
-
I just loved this. It is deep, intense and lighted a fire in my soul. It hit me to my core and brought back many things for me to think about. Well written, my friend.
Good luck in the contest
Soulful Woman
-
-
Thank you!
-
-
You are the word weaver darlin'.
This felt a bit like confessional poetry to me, the tone is very somber and reflective.
The sun does fade.
-
-
"Nothing beautiful is safe - everything wilts in time"
- Heather [Sulfane]
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
