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"inside oneself"

I miss

changes,
exploration
and
freshness

that
forgotten
chilly
feeling

comes in goosebumps

when summer rolls in
through the open window

curtains blowing.

Everything in me
runs to
the outside.

A contest entry

Shoot.

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Nangaleema
    June 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    yes - change. when asked what is my fav season, I have to say all of them- but only the Beginning of each.

    the last stanza of this is my favorite - exhilarating. - NANGALEEMA

  • unraveled
    May 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i liked it. i think some of the line breaks were unnecessary. but the images were clean and simple, like summer, nice.

    -cassidy


  • marlene47 silver member
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this, the movement from inner to outer... and the blowing curtain your signal.
    Marlene

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    alright my main complaint with this is the line breakage -

    otherwise well done.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is wonderful. Best of luck in the contest.


    whisper


  • Bams
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    early congratulations --

    ooh nice weather correlation to needed tingle of life

    this reflects well from having to be freed of cabin fever of sorts, even of broken seasons by chain reactions. But mostly from the the "curtains blowing" line for momentum, it made me think of how my husband didn't want a bargain perhaps of a new spot for a shop that didn't have windows and he was afraid it could start mental problems so depressingly.

    the second stanza was summarizingly nice,
    babies are my subject


  • layla.
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this one is the best from the new ones... did that line make sense? anyway, i am sure you got my drift.


    • Ryno
      May 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lol.. yes out of my most recent ones

1 - 9 of 9