It is not the absence of cloth,
nor sky at sunrise
that lays like a blanket over us.
it is the nothingness that contains everything;
truth we know, but hide ourselves from.
Fullness of mind and body- that like a wind
shakes flowers from your hair.
What opens like a voice in your throat;
like winter to memory,
rises and grows in your body,
becomes your body itself
until you forget what you are.
It is the soft-lit sky at midnight.
Not the tree with flowers -
but with leaves.
In a list
A contest entry
- Naked by AJ Morelli.
2500 points, ended June 3, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PIF: Prewrites Contest for My Favorites by Night Hope.
900 points, ended June 13, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please give some honest and constructive criticism -
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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nothingness is everything.A board filled with writing is useless. It is to be wiped out continuously to use it again and again.It is empty mind that is creative, not moulded and set..you are true daughter of India and I will be amazed to have one like you..thank you so much..Best wishes
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"it is the nothingness that contains everything;
truth we know, but hide ourselves from.
Fullness of mind and body- that like a wind
shakes flowers from your hair;
what opens like a voice in your throat-"
Wow. Stunning work, Poet. I began writing at the age of 14, Namita; never did I ever pen anything of this delicate magnitude or scope. This is a lovely & wise piece, my Friend. Thank you for entering my contest. Good luck, Sweetie. 
Wanda
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This poem paralyses my thoughts and it is such a wonder that this creates a great sense of heaviness in the heart. I dont believe that you are just a teenage girl, atleast in your mind. Keep penning such stunning wonders. Keep feeling great. I would be happy, if you could spare some time to stamp your impressions on my poems.
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speechless.
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you are the best 14 year old poet i have ever read, this is magnificent as i have come to expect from you...
i love this
al -
i love the last stanza. people forget the leaves too often.
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Your amazing ability at such a young age drops my jaw every time I read your poetry Nami. You are a breath of freshness with talent that all could learn from. You write with such maturity.Simple yet complex at the same time...
It is indeed the "nothingness" that matters most at times.
Becky
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I've caught twenty different forms of the jealousy disease.
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thanks for these wise and beautifull words. I enjoyded them from the absence untill the green answer. It is good to open an unread book like your words are to me.
Wim
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Beautiful poetry
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Thanks Zayra.
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it would be unfair to those who may have struggled to get down to 75 words to then allow poems of longer length, editing down is part of the process that contests like this promote. that being said, this is a truly beautiful poem and i'm not sure i would try to cut it, it stands as a wonderfully finished piece as it is... sometimes the value of the poem is more important than the contest it is entered in... it is outside the bounds of the rules but it is a fine poem, i hope you leave it in the contest so that others may find it here...
al
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: Yes, it is quite unfair. I'll see whether I come up with a shorter, better one.
Thanks for the comment.
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i think the repetition could go too... but my oh my ... how does someone so young, become so wise and so damned knowledgeable?? huh huh
i'll be damned if i know, you are a mystery to me Nami and enigma for sure... i want to sit in your head for a while, just to soak in some of the vastness
beautimous work
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I have a few chairs in my head, come sit there if you want to! But that's all- nothing else. Only chairs and bits of flies and fluff
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i wasnt so fond of the repetition of "it is."
but the imagery is astounding. great take on the prompt.
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Thanks.
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Your soul, your poetic voice, once again glows through this beautiful poem, You never cease to amaze me with the beauty and maturity, the wisdom from within your mind and soul. You inspire and delight the reader with your work
An excellent piece, my dear and I wish you the best in the contest
Dee
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Thank you so very much, Dee!
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You simply keep amazing me with the maturity and originality of your voice, Namita - and this poem once agains displays your poetic talents.
I like the mood here, the natural metaphors and images, the openess - well everything. Yes, it's the 'nothingness' that speaks the loudest, that says everything.
girl, you are just too good. This is beautiful!
~ Nicolette
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Yaaaay! Thank you, Nic!
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Lovely penning.
I love the line;
"it is the nothingness that contains everything"
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Thanks Jersene.
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You are beautiful. This is beautiful.
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Ahhh... thank you Trina
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nice
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Thanks!
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To the well again Namita, of beauty and ink. I like your confident approach in this piece. "Not the tree with flowers-but with leaves." I love this line, to see beyond/behind what may be stunning and beautiful, to see the life backdrop that allows the beauty to become. Geo
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Thanks Geo, such a lovely comment; you always leave meaningful ones
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When naked is to feel bare inside, completely open to emotions...
You write so well Namizita. I could just hug your verses to make them warm me up
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I wub hugging Mari!!
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A very nice mood to this poem through the use of your imagery
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Thanks Tara.
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Deep
This is a very profound and deep write here, very yogic. Thought provoking with truth oozing freely from your words. Deep!
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Such a wonderful state, nakedness! Thank you for the comment
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Thank you, Plasma.
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