A Tree in the City by Amera at All poetry

A Tree in the City

A million souls have passed her by
and felt her beauty brush the sky.
Her life was spared to beautify
and so her boughs appear to cry.

She stands alone to justify,
surrounding walls that amplify
polluted echoes that belie
and so her boughs appear to cry.

One in a million will descry
injustice and the reason why
a single tree does not apply
and so her boughs appear to cry.

A million souls have passed her by
and so her boughs appear to cry.

iiv

Author notes

Kyrielle Sonnet in monorhyme.

I created this with the intention of amplifying the intensity and the speed of the poem as it progresses hence; the stop in S1, the pause in S2 and no punctuation in S3. Try reading it out loud and see if I was successful.

Photo: Al Capone Tree, Baltimore. From the Baltimore Tree Trust.

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1 - 88 of 88

By me, right now

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myrataal
9 hours ago
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Absolutely perfectly done!
Monorhyme, but unforced, lovely and deeply reflective of nature and its so called caretakers.

Love
Myra
- Amera
  8 hours ago
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  Thanks Myra
Cyber Artist
November 2

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I think you achieved what you set out to. It flowed well, it took a couple of reads but that's said more about me than the poem I suspect I tried a version of this once and found it wasn't my best work lol although I wasn't that unhappy with it it certainly makes for a pleasant change from the usual formats.
well done
Cyber Artist
Lowell Poe
October 27

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Excellent lass....
you really should be proud of this....

She stands alone to justify,
surrounding walls that amplify
polluted echoes that belie
and so her boughs appear to cry...

nature made willow weep....
i always wondered why,
your gift gives such insight to that thought little gypsy..
there is no doubt you have a poets heart.
Reading this makes your comments so valued,
and i love the dancing lass...*smile*
You seem like a special poet...
i must keep track of your work.

Bless you,
Liam
aychellus
October 21

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hats off !!
i am now thinking of burning my book of sonnets and retiring the old quill ,excellent rythm and use of syllabic timeform ,much kudos andsuitable bowing and scraping etc
ZachP
October 10

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a beautiful ode to a precious tree; dear Amera.
I'm now considering visiting this tree . If I get into one of the colleges I'm applying to; I shouldn't be very far from Baltimore, lol.

Your intent with regards to the punctuation and flow works exceptionally well. I will have to try this technique.

Thanks for sharing; all my best.
Zach
capricornpoet
October 7
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lovely tree , lonely tree
I could not read it aloud, it was late at night, lovely though; a lovely tree alone,
it does cry ...birds will sing and sigh...
west-word
September 28
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ode to nature.. nicely done!!
Abandon Nothing
September 6
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love love LOVE this =)

great job
Alex Fitzpatrick
August 27

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Wonderful sonnet
I like this kind of sonnet, the Kyrielle form. I think you have well succeeded in amplifying the intensity and speed of the poem. I like the way you have each line of the quatrains rhyming. This is also a great example of what someone once said to me, that often syllables are as important as words in poetry. You have made that point clearly with your eight syllable lines. This sonnet, to me, is a beautiful observation, and it works perfectly with the photograph of the lovely tree. It reminds me of trees I saw on a visit to Australia.
awannabepoet
August 12

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Amera, you always have such clear vision as to where your poetic voice needs to be, you have penned another great poem indeed.

I like it, I like it so!
Cup-a-Joe
July 30

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Your words amaze me. As beautiful as the tree is, you make it blush, with your beauty.

I feel honered everytime I read one of your creations.
I also discovered a new type of tree.

Joe
creationsfromheart
July 22

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I so Love your form poetry!
Amera I do admire your form poetry writes you are trully gifted and it amazes me how you took a free writer like me and turned me into a lover of reading form, I noticed yours always just read so easily and do not seem forced or over worked and that's the reason I love your works! AWESOME WRITE As always.

Love ME.
PS by the way thank you for reading my horrid poem, I had fun writing that actually, haha
DesolatELifE
July 16
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I'm not sure whether I have read this before. Sounds almost vaguely familar. Very nice to read.
poeticweaver
July 15

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I love this, you weave so beautifully!
Thanks so much for sharing here teach!
I always learn so much from you with my visits.
Such a wonderful write, and I think you know I love sonnets.
And the more types I learn, the better, though I'm stuck on 1 or 2.

Much love teach!
-Timothy
The Accidental Poet
July 14
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Really an excellent prompt!
Blushfulmoon
July 9

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excellent~
Written and penned so beautiful
Love the pic of that tree WOW
This should be in a contest
It would be a winner
I just posted a new one too
Hope you drop by
Hugs
Susan~~~
The.poet.of.hearts
July 1

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humz. very light and amazing work
You are still the Same Amera..
magical words
liked it alot

by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
Discoveria
June 24

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Very interesting effect...I didn't really notice the speeding up of the words until I read your author notes. It does seem that there is some acceleration.

Aside from that, the monorhyme is brilliant and the poem as a whole is pretty powerful. Glad I read this. Food for thought.
BurnTheFire
June 17
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wow. i LOVE this poem. im one of those nature freaks who luvs finding beauty and symbolism in nature. this was amazing and hit me. its weird because i have one of those trees in my back yard and i luv sitting under it and writing poetry. its not easy writing a monorhyme, but you pulled it off skillfully! i repeat, i LOVE this poem.
enlightenedatheist
June 10
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very enjoyable!
Rebekah-Ann
June 5

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I'm sure I read this, not sure if I commented yet? I absolutely love this poem because of the transparacy of such a huge object... think I feel some connection to this tree!

Great write!
his kiss
May 30
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i luvz it!!
Melodies
January 21

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A perfect poem for Poetry Planet and I am borrowing it to share with our many visitors. Thank you so much for allowing me to do this because your beautiful poetry is an elegant gift to the world.
- Amera
  January 21
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  I'm honored that you would like to use my poem
nordicsky
December 17, 2008

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I read this a while back and did not appreciate its beauty, but now, after a bottle of red wine, I do.

Love, Peter (A slightly drunk poet)
- Amera
  December 17, 2008
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  Aww... thanks! My poetry is better avter a few drinks.
Azgar
November 30, 2008
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Swan song
November 14, 2008

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it does seem to slide alpong a little faster as you go down the poem. Sort of like a tear as it speeds towards the ground.
Ellis
November 1, 2008

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Terrific Poem!
Poet, teacher, I love rhyme,
yours so much more than mine.
I do rhyme all the time,
but not like you; you are so fine!

Tiki Cat
Buy Tiki's Gourmet Cat Food
"Too Good For Humans"
k.a.s.s.i.e
October 29, 2008

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i like this rhyme scheme and the presence of a tree. but it's also really depressing that she's sad. i just want to give the tree a hug! poor thing! (anyway!) great write.
ps
i like the picture!

~kassie
princessleejwctlvr2
October 29, 2008

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I love the picture!! Sis you are so incredible I really think you should write a book!!! This is well written
artis
October 27, 2008

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there is a pace, almost like sobs growing in intensity,
Weeping Willows were always my bestest trees. I played in the mighty rooms formed where their branches met, in the projects where I grew up. Just me and the girl next door behind her catty-cornered walkup. Long hours dreaming and talking together in the boughs of those old willows, they're all gone now, she is too, moved away to who knows where when they made our growing up wonderland into a golf course. I still have a knobby old nub just about heart size that I cut off of that tree we liked best, tucked away somewhere. It was our gittup handle, that helped us climb into that vast green room leading to life itself. First kisses, giggles, promises and innocent hopes were shared there, the roots run deep. they can't cut them out...hmmmm...see what your poem did to me? superb work Amera, I was back in a sacred place, only available in my moody blues. ~~~~Artis
Pisces Pieces
September 17, 2008

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For me, the speed definitely picked up througout.

We used to have a large, stubborn willow tree in the backyard of our old house. Every time it stormed, large pieces would fall off. This tree reminds me of that.

In your poem, the tree's history and emotion are portrayed and there is a story told of how she has been a part of so many lives and through so many changes.

It's very beautifully done!

♥
Tirrell
August 27, 2008

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I feel this was quite succesful, and a rather exquisitely beautiful Kyrielle Sonnet. I feel it all builds {in both emotion and the imagery described,} a wonderfully beautiful poem.
Age of Rain
August 1, 2008

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I may have to stop reading your poetry a bit for fear of gawking too much. My jaw is starting to hurt. The mono rhyme was beautifully done, and yet again you manage this with a meaningful word choice. You are truly a master of poetic form.
AngelKissez059
July 14, 2008

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this is great! i like the end words of the lines, they all rhyme, very clever. i also like the rhythm like you said. you did very well. this piece amazes me becaue of the beauty of it. you can almost imagine being the tree.
LoveEverlasting
July 10, 2008

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What a clever piece of poetry but so beautiful at the same time.
She really does appear to cry and it can only be for the reasons you specify. The acceleration you describe in the notes works well for me and the monorhyme is totally unobtrusive. I am on the second of your poems now, not thinking of stopping for a while.
Auburn Sunrise
June 27, 2008

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You were indeed successful. I noticed the quickening pace and thus the intensity "intensifying" immediately while reading it.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this poem!
It is probably my favorite poem of everything I've read in the past year! (Yes that means you beat out Frost, Hughes, H.D., Byron, etc.)

The picture was a stunning accomplice to an even more stunning poem.

This is just... so perfect I could cry!

You know, I was thinking the other day, as I read a short bio of Frost and his work, that you are this generation's Frost. You are the modern day "ageless poet" (as Time magazine called Robert Frost when they did an expose on him).

You are incredibly talented, and I know without a doubt, that you will be remembered forever as the great classical poet of the 21st century.

Love you Sis.
- Amera
  June 27, 2008
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  This is by far the sweetest and best comment I have ever received from anyone. I am speechless, thank you.
Dragonheart1
June 27, 2008

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I love your styles of writing poetry as in these first three lines. It is very different!

Rewturn the favor?
Still Anonymous
June 25, 2008

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I liked this poem. The first verse was my favorite. You used an unusual and difficult rhyme scheme that I liked. I didn't really understand the third line of the second stanza. I'm not sure I fully understood "apply" in the third line in the third stanza, either. I liked the repeating line at the end of each stanza, and the first line/last line tie-together you used at the end. I think the speed was amplified in the third stanza, but I'm not sure about the second. Anyway, very nice poem.

Still Anonymous
cherrybabe16
June 24, 2008

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Awsome poem
I think this is one of the best poems i have ever read. The concept is great. I love that its just this one tree all alone and how you personified the tree. It was amazing. Truly amazing.
duke3yearsofpurejoy
June 24, 2008
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great job!!
RomeoPierson
June 24, 2008
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that was super dope
Bard-of-Shadows
June 23, 2008

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Well, reading some of the indepth comments that have been left regarding your poem, I don't think there's anything I can say to add another perspective. I don't know much about iambic tetrameter or stanzas. I used to, long ago, but they seem to have fallen out of my head. I do want to say that I understood the injustice perfectly. A natural tree placed in a city, to somehow justify the existence of unnatural structures. Very moving. I felt a shiver when for a moment it appeared that the tree in the photo was actually crying. Thank you for this beautiful and touching poem.
narcissist
June 23, 2008

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oh lovely! i've seen this tree before. and the repeating line is so beautiful. very well done, you've made the tree a city inhabitant.
Have left the site
June 23, 2008

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This is really pretty good and I can see where one might spotlight it. This can be such an effective form. Nice to see it in the spotlight page. -Wil
Laughing Buddh
June 23, 2008

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u know,generally,i hate rhymers...........as most of them suck....but this was a beautiful exception
Star Shine
June 23, 2008

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It is a beautiful piece, with a lovely movement to it deserving of the subject of one of nature's lovely creations. The photo reminds me of MSU campus where I went one summer years ago, inner city with suddenly lovely bits of nature appearing. Well done.
Rovingone
June 23, 2008

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The scheme of this poem was fresh and origonal, and completely successful in delivery. Your work is, as always, innovative and sooooo good!
MissTab
June 23, 2008

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Oh, the rhythm! Just a gorgeous effect! Yeah, your expirementing paid off, it has such a fantastic flow. Great job!

~Tabitha
upperworld06
June 23, 2008
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this is amazing, i'm glad you got to be on the main page. good job
Rebekah-Ann
June 23, 2008
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Congratulations on your SPOTLIGHT my friend! This is such a beautiful piece. It kinda made me wonder how many people have passed "her" by without noticing...
jcat
June 18, 2008

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I know so very little about forms but what I do know is that the emotions conveyed here came across beautifully to the reader. This truly was amazing and simply divine!! Glad that I saw it in the spotlight!! It was such a delightful read...Congrats on the shiney! Well deserved....
l33t-n1nj4
June 18, 2008

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you were absolutely succcessful. This peice was amazing. It flowed perfectly and was penned quite nicely. I very much enjoyed reading this. Great job you are a beautiful writer. Keep up the good work.
oldpoets
June 18, 2008

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Well written. Your rhyme was done with excellence. It flowed vwey well. You have used your words well.This is a work of perfection.
LaCkOfCoLoUr
June 18, 2008
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cool
ahh its pretti, xoxo luv it
rbruce
June 18, 2008
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A truly lovely poem. Rhyme, metre and flow excellent. Should have won gold. Congratulations.
MatthewBroderick
June 17, 2008
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It said I didn't have enough points to do this so I went begging.
MatthewBroderick
June 17, 2008

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What a remarkable poem I am new to allpoetry if this an indication of the quality of poetry on the site I suspect I am a little over matched.
A monorhyme that doesn't sound boring repeating lines that feel just right and perfect metre. If this won a bronze the other two poems must have been quite remarkable.
davidwright
June 17, 2008
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Very lyrical poem fresh and refreshing to read. Happy trails
lucidlove
June 17, 2008

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I've never read a poem in that rhyme scheme before. Or at least I don't remember if I did. That was Interesting.
Mirthryl
June 17, 2008
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Lovely kyrielle, appealing personification and lovely refrain line. I have not seen a monorhyme I like as well; this flows smoothly and the rhyme does not detract from content or flow, or leave the reader puzzling over what was intended. Lovely concluding couplet as well. So pleased to see this wearing jewelry! Much enjoyed!
XxPan3xX
June 17, 2008
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This is great,I love it!!!!!
Lyndon
June 12, 2008

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Congratulations on a trophy
It was absolutely well-deserved.
NeonRose
June 12, 2008
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Loved this write as soon as I read it! Glad to see it recognized as award worthy! Congratulations on the Bronze!
cricketjeff
June 12, 2008

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One of the best poems I have read in a long time. A monorhyme that doesn't read as an attempt to fit inappropriate words in is a rare event.
Here the monorhyming appear irrelevant. The repeats and the whole form too, it is first and formost a bloody good poem, the fact that it is perfectly to form and uses cunning and subtle devices to influence the reader is just a huge plus.
Great writing from one of the Winklings very best poets. Great stuff
Andantino
June 11, 2008

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Gosh, Lyndon went to town!
A kyrielle sonnet in monorhyme without spoiling the poetic impact! Some feat! There, I have said all Lyndon said, in a few words.
Willy the ler.
Lyndon
June 10, 2008
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I think highly of this old French form
The lines are octosyllabic and brisk [iambic tetrameters, metrically}. You have three quatrains and a refrain.
a1aaA; aaaA; aaaA; a1A.
The imposition of such a diciplined form is almost crippling to all but the more versatile of poets. An excellent sonnet in form, rhythm and rhyme.
This Kyrielle form with monorhyme has, in this instance, lent itself wondrously to your passion towards the tree in the city.
The first line: 'A million souls have passed her by'
has been well thought through and certainly compliments and complements your pretty refrain, sad, nostalgic, poignant as it is.
By punctuation, (I read it aloud) progressively increases the pace of your poem deliberately and well.
This is an aural poem and, read aloud as poetry is meant to be, it effects a delicate but vibrant air.
Pathetic fallacy is employed well in this line:
'and so her boughs appear to cry', underlining the solitariness of the tree.
Again, a new theme of justification for the tree's rationale: a contrast to what has replaced nature:
'surrounding walls that amplify
polluted echoes ...'.
Rather beautiful turn of phrase here.
The final stanza is a damnation verse where:
'One in a million will descry
injustice and the reason why
a single tree does not apply'.
In the final stanza of 'To Autumn', John Keats achieves 23 different vowel sounds! You have achieved precisely the same number and you have line repetition.
One of the best contemporary poems I have witnessed using a medieval form.
Congratulations.

PS You fulfilled the specifications admirably.

'
- Amera
  June 10, 2008
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  You made my day... no, week!
manoguru
May 25, 2008
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i would first like to appreciate the sonic quality of this poem. it seems impeccable. but the content seems to be a bit unsatisfactory.

stz 1 is fine its construction. it says that the tree was not cut down because of its beauty. and it is sad because of that.

when we move on to the 2nd stz, line 1, you introduce the idea of justification. what exactly does the tree justify? the reason why it was not cut down? this idea seems plausible since you invoke the next idea of "polluted echoes." this is a wonder turn of words in itself if we think deeply about it. (how can echoes even be polluted!!) but it adds a new level of vagueness that doesn't quite resolve the initial confusion caused by the idea of justification. i think "polluted echoes" is just a colorful substitute for the word "noise" which represents disharmony of society. but then the "polluted echoes" tends to "belie". but what does it contradict? the existence of the tree, which in a way seem to symbolize beauty? now here is the conflict in this stz, how we have a tree "justify" something (what ever that may be... it is never made explicit in the poem) and the "echoes" contradicting the same? either one of them is correct or both are wrong. but the main problem of this poem as a whole (and hence i consider its failing) is that readers are not given the exact cause of this conflict. it is assumed that the conflict exists, and that is sufficient to carry this stanza through. but what we are arguing about is never made plain or even given a metaphoric hint.

the third stz plays on with the idea of justice further, without making the said conflict any more clear. and laments the inability of people to perceive injustice (but of what? )

in conclusion, i have a mixed opinion about this poem. it has a good sound. but i wish that was all that was required of a good poem. the content seems to be somewhat muddled. you have try to use symbols which are a bit tricky if you are not coherent with it. the tree is an age old symbol of life as a whole, but i somehow found this symbol you have used not potent enough to carry through its full significance. i think this poem may be improved if you drop on insisting it as a sonnet and add a few more stanzas.
- Amera
  May 25, 2008
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  Thank you for the comment. I see you missed the point of the poem. The "tree" is sad because "he, the tree" is the only tree left from the grove that was once there. People seem to think that by leaving that one tree they have justified destroying nature to build the city.
  
  I'm also surprised that you didn't recgonize the unique and what I think is an original structure to the poem regarding its' progressively increasing meter.
- - manoguru
    May 25, 2008
    
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    hmm... i'm sorry to have missed your point in this poem. but if what you just said was the intent of the poem, then to me this poem doesn't seem to really carry this message through to the readers without further authorial comments. re-reading it again under this light does make it more intelligible. my, my, i would have never guessed that it was about environmentalism!!! and that that tree is just a tree. lol... i seem to have made an idiot of myself
    
    as for the sound, i am happy that you could pull it off with a mono rhyme. as for the progressively increasing meter, i don't quite agree, since this poem is written in iambic tetrameter. there has been no increase or decrease in meter. i do see the point that putting full stops at some strategic places does make the reading of the poem a bit slower in the beginning; but i must also observe that the stressed endings and the swiftness of this meter produce a natural pause at each line ends that is very hard in itself, which tends to offset the effects of commas and full-stops.
    
    regards,
    manoguru
NeonRose
May 23, 2008

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Love your sad tree! Form is, as always, perfect. Content is thoughtful and rhyme and flow are seamless. Excellent write!
Eusebius
May 22, 2008

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bravo
Very expertly done....and, yes, it does read very rapidly like fast flowing water. Wonderful! I loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo...
Sue Cardwell
May 22, 2008

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I love Kyrielle sonnets and this is beautiful. You've capture the essence of the tree and given it a voice.
This was a joy to read...

All the best in the contest...

Love
Sue
Dalaney
May 21, 2008
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Simply enjoying this...it's so beautifully done, my friend.

Love, Lane
HaleyMary
May 21, 2008

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This is beautiful, Amera. The words seem to personify the tree quite well. The part of polluted echoes was powerful. It makes me think of the pollution that is being done to the Earth these days and it's as though the trees could be thought to be crying our for help. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
cricketjeff
May 21, 2008
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I was at an interview in the city while you must have been writing this, I walked home through Hyde Park and sat under a tree to get in touch with people and read it there.
The tree I was sat under was a huge London Plane, I am sure it sighed as I read your poem aloud, I did. It is very well done and thoughtful. Made me feel good.
Mairi bheag
May 21, 2008

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Quite ingenious. Almost too ingenious, Sis.

I do like it, though.
Ithica
May 21, 2008

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What a gorgeous tree!!! And a spetacular poem in it's honor... What a tragedy it would be to lose her, and yet people seem to bustle about their busy lives and rarely stop to notice her... I did read it aloud and I believe you were successful with your goal... a sad urgency in your words!!!
Poetry-and-rhyme
May 21, 2008

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oh sis such a wonderful picture and sucha a wonderful poem describing it ya and very true i tried reading it loud your amazing sis awesomeeeeee
StarEyes
May 21, 2008

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*shakes head* How do you do it? This is amazing!! I love it!!! OMG!!! Girl... Just totally incredible!!

Best of luck in this contest!

and love

Nyetta
blueyez
May 21, 2008

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my most favorite form... simply beautiful!!!! I love this!!!
peace and love
RedAquarius
May 21, 2008

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Reading it aloud definitely adds a dimension to just reading it on the screen. Fantastic pacing, great flow - you made the rhyme serve the poem - not the poem serve the rhyme - great job m'friend!
Dark Energy
May 21, 2008

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Like a sweet prayer...
The rhythm of the poem is stunning. The lines are placed perfectly, you have millions of souls passing by; yet your soul speaks to me like no other. You voice nature and the plight of this tree. The repeated lines do amplify the strength of this poem... This poem touches the heart and has deep roots to the soul. Upon the new day... Today you have given us a great gift. Thank you and good luck in the contest!
PerVirtuous
May 21, 2008

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I believe it works. I read it aloud twice and found that it got faster each time. A novel idea and one that makes the poem more interesting. This is lovely and should do excellently in this contest.