Intriguant

The hours, slowly intriguant,

stopping the time suddenly,
I count my fate and torments
in prision's bouncing fire bleakly.

The time of food
no choice of, to like, to dream
will they come back?
in closed eyes to again stream.

Simply wish to find solace
did not I dream?
solitude biting sighly
in my nights to scream.

Author notes

Prompt: Picture
picture: http://skuldi.deviantart.com/art/The-Bridge-of-Sighs-26533611

A contest entry

PIF: the bridge of sighs by unraveled. 490 points, ended June 3, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Please tell me what you think

Comments

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
unraveled
June 3, 2008
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The middle stanza was weaker compared to the other two, but the ending had a nice finish. I liked the subject you chose to write this about, but I think you could have done more with this, there's not much substance as it stands. Still, I like what you have.

Thanks for the entry,
-cassidy
in the snow
May 29, 2008
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This poem is more like a feeling than a solid piece of literature. I love it!
thejollytinker
May 21, 2008
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Tres excellent, mon frere. The rythym has a Cummings feel, or maybe it's just me...