Sputtering engines
puffs of black smoke
the roller coaster clicks
its jaws open wide.
Oily saliva drips
as its' hunger builds.
We enter unaware
while the law of averages snap.
Author notes
#3 30 words: http://photobucket.com/image/carnival/mynameiskaylagray/carnival.jpg?o=2
A contest entry
- My first Quickie! by OnceUponAMind.
475 points, ended May 21, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Congratulations on earning the Silver Cup here my dear. You personified the Ferris Wheel with ease. Loved this! I have migraines, and always loved this carnival ride but cannot tolerate it as I grow older.
Much Love ♥
Renee
-
Oh that is scary sounding!!! I cannot even fathom getting on an amusement ride anymore - in fear of when my luck just might crash out. Great write!
-
-
Thanks ma dear
-
-
I love the play with the words going on here as if the law of average is actually waiting and watching for us, and then snap! down u go. fate takes it place and entices the risktakers to the end.
-
Congrats. on the SILVER trophy!!! I'm still not riding one any time soon!!! hehe!!!
-
Nothing like a heavy dose of paranoia when you board the roller coaster ride... Yikes! I may never ride another!!! Great take on the image chosen...
-
Wow, very nice take on the chosen prompt! Best of luck
-
A beautiful and intense writ! Loved the flow and imagery, as well as emotion poured into this piece. A most enjoyable read. Best wishes in the comp
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
