She passes down the hallway
Her eyes kept to the floor
She counts a thousand tiles
For each false smile that she wore
A thousand tiles for the tears
That cascade along her cheek
The tears turn into pen strokes
Of everything she’d dare not speak
But tears are too translucent
Her heart demands a truer ink
She keeps a razor in her locker
And they don’t know she’s on the brink
A thousand slender slashes
Tell a tale all down her arm
And yet they cannot read the danger
Present in her rough self-harm
For she knows it’s just a step
As the tiny blade becomes a knife
And the knife becomes a gun
And with the gun she’ll end her life
Her hand trembles as she wonders
If anyone will even care
If they’ll notice Monday morning
That she isn’t even there
Will anybody miss her?
Will they wonder what became?
Will they even think to mourn?
Will they all forget her name?
She shuts her crying eyes
As her finger gives a squeeze
The gun falls to the floor
And he’s the last thing that she sees
He’ll notice Monday morning
He’ll wonder what became
Forever he’ll be mourning
And how could he forget her name?
He passes down the hallway
His eyes kept to the floor
He counts a thousand tiles
For each “I love you” that she swore
Author notes
This one's about cutting. This was almost the story of me and my boyfriend just a few months ago...I was in a rough patch in my life, and writing was the only thing keeping me sane. I'm happy to say I've been feeling a bit more up lately, but this remains a testament to a great portion of my life. Tell me what you think.
A contest entry
- C is for... by Pandorea.
800 points, ended May 22, 2008, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme and Flow part 3 New - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended June 15, 2008, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions Crying Out {Options} by newnoakua.
550 points, ended June 16, 2008, 92 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wow me! (Diffrent topics to write about) by Play-A-War.
330 points, ended June 30, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Suicide Solution by Blood Magick.
540 points, ended July 26, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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amazing
im currently going through the same thing im sad to say. i started cutting and yeah -
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I'm sorry to hear that. I hope your life gets back in shape soon. It's a terrible thing to go through.
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She passes down the hallway
Her eyes kept to the floor
She counts a thousand tiles
For each false smile that she wore
this is a fantastic starting stanza and i think you finished brilliantly as well.
the rhyming was flawless and flowed naturally.
a great write all in all.
Laura. -
holy shit.... very nice.
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Wow good write!
This was very well written... Expressing really strong emotions so well. The flow was good.
Thanks for entering.
Good luck
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Thank you for your poem, it was an interesting read. Unfortunately neither of the judges like cutting or suicide and we omitted to put this in the contest rules, so although we wont DQ your poem it will not be considered for this contest.
Thank you for your time...Sue and Jeff
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Wow that's a really good poem. I'm sorry you went through that. I can relate. Thanks for sharing! Keep up the good work and congratulations on the gold trophy!
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thank you for surviving, and for writing this... it was truly lovely.
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That... was... wonderful!
One of my all-time favorite pieces of poetry that I've read! It's amazing how much was shown in such a small amount of lines but it was still amazing! I think the ending was perfect, and this poem really meant something to me.
I'm glad you're feeling better, nobody likes to be stuck in a place like that.
Congrats on the wonderful write!
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oh.
if this is true, or almost true, then just...
this one got me more than most. maybe it was how the ending mirrored the opening with the thousand tiles. maybe it was the realism of having that razor and wondering if people will notice or care. maybe it was:
"For she knows it’s just a step
As the tiny blade becomes a knife
And the knife becomes a gun
And with the gun she’ll end her life"
thanks for sharing this, and i'm really glad you're feling 'a bit more up' now. this is a poem really tugs the heartstrings, you know, so thanks for entering it.
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