I knew at once
that I had glimpsed the
moon
splayed out like
golden silk
between the giant oaks
It was a gentle stream
soaking up
midnight rays
with taunting confidence
becoming a temptation
much stronger than I
so in the quiet hours
of darkness
I left behind my binding
cloths
to bath my self
in thee
Author notes
Prompt "Naked"
In a list
A contest entry
- Naked by AJ Morelli.
2500 points, ended June 3, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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a very strong opening stanza, well done...
i love the conversational tone, it really works. i think the use of the arcane "thee" undercuts the natural voice of this and would be better with the more familiar "you"
this is full of wonderful images, nicely done..
al -
"splayed out like
golden silk
between the giant oaks"
"I left behind my binding
cloths"
Very nice! You have such a knack for imagery, and your soft words make me feel the cool night air and I am ready to get a moon-tan.
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Wonderful free verse piece. My favorite part was, "It was a gentle stream
soaking up
midnight rays
with taunting confidence" Keep on writing! -
What a celebration, and how strong your description, yet restrained, which is perfectly mirrored in the term "binding cloths." Bravo. Best of luck in the contest.
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gorgeous...did you mean to spell the last word at the end with an "a"...radiance.
The imager in this...stunning, serene...so this clearly in my mind's eye.
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*blushes* opps That was a typo. Thank you for catching that and thank you so much for the great review. It means a lot to me as a poet.
Much Love
Carrie
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