The blade shines,
The same old sting lines my wrist,
The beauty of the scarlet lines,
Pushing down oh-so-perfect,
Sweet suicide you call me again.
The pills so light,
Slide easy down my throat,
Chase it down with whiskey,
The harsh feelings no more,
Sweet suicide you call me again.
The rope tight,
Swing roughly by my neck,
Jumping onto a stool,
The thick rope pulled tight,
Sweet suicide you call me again.
Closer to the edge,
Feel teh breeze push me over,
Standing on the bridge,
Finally ready to let go,
Sweet suicide you call me again.
Barrel in my mouth,
Cold and so sweet,
Let my fingers move themselves,
Pull the trigger and say goodbye,
Sweet suicide you call me again.
A contest entry
- THIS TIME i'M GOING TO WIN (pt. 2) by written-in-ink.
1000 points, ended September 13, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
how well is it written?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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awww
you need to have this in at least two more contest
but i will still tell you what i think
very nice
raw and emotional
i feel the pain
i see it
this poem touched me
good jo
and if you can get it in two more contests before i judge then good luck -
That is an amazing poem... those who say it doesnt belong need to rethink what they said..... i can so realate to this- The blade shines,
The same old sting lines my wrist,
The beauty of the scarlet lines,
Pushing down oh-so-perfect,
Sweet suicide you call me again.
This is an awesome poem! Keep it up!
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not very uplifting, is it?
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Not ment to be hun
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In the fourth stanza, it should be "the," not "teh."
Other than that, it was amazing. It was really scary, but very well written. I like the repetition of "sweet suicide, you call me again" as the last line of each stanza. It pulls the piece together. -
That was beautiful.
I loved it well done.
You are very talented -
The pills so light,
Slide easy down my throat,
Chase it down with whiskey,
The harsh feelings no more,
Sweet suicide you call me again.
~reminds me of the time i tried to kill myself so i can connect. it is well written i like the way you put "Sweet suicide you call me again. " at the end of every line. great write!
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macabre, but good!
hmm, nice poem
a bit macabre, but that doesn't care
.....yuk, this made me think of whiskey, I usually drink whiskey when I feel really depressed, although it's disguisting xD
good poem though
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it was written so perfect.
i love it.
good job!
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