Cloisonnéd and lacquered ...
... "No ... our Ark of Sacraments ...
... Not me ...."
Secrets.
Who has no secrets?
Slowly opened, her Ark
unveils the offering ---
burnished carbon steel,
mother-of-pearl swathed tang,
pinnacle line incisive and honed;
a single violent notch
bitten from the edge
authenticates its history,
asseverates its peccant purpose.
Your oblation.
Prescribed to prove.
Proffered emblem of trust.
Now submitted.
And accepted.
< = >
I lock your eyes,
and stroke your hair,
so you feel my nails
shiver your scalp.
You loll your head ....
the curve of your neck
greets the slope
of your shoulders,
and cascades frissons.
Breathing in tactile
pleasures' aromas,
I loosen the
collar bindings,
while you gasp,
and stare in my eyes.
I glide dwarf hairs
on the back of my finger
over your cheek,
and you inhale us in,
entreating permission
with the light
in your eyes ....
to touch, to kiss....
I bend down -
sip your fragrance
and taste your lips,
still glistening with
pungent wetness.
Implore desire.
Granted.
you savor ...
eyes still
gaze-fixed.
Unspoken.
Understood...
TRUST.
> = <
Prescription filled.
Passion serves.
No refills
granted ...
or accepted.
Author notes
Notes on uncommon words:
cloisonné –noun 1. enamelwork in which colored areas are separated by thin metal bands fixed edgewise to the ground. –adjective 2. pertaining to, forming, or resembling cloisonné or the pattern of cloisonné.
asseverate verb. (-at•ed, -at•ing). to declare earnestly or solemnly; affirm positively; aver.
peccant – adjective. sinning; guilty of a moral offense.
oblation –noun 1. the offering to God of the elements of bread and wine in the Eucharist. 3. the act of making an offering, esp. to a deity.
frisson - noun, plural -sons - a sudden, passing sensation of excitement; a shudder of emotion; thrill:
"tang" is not astronaut OJ, at least not here.
In case it is not clear, there are mathematical poems here too: < = > less than equals greater than; > = < greater than equals less than.....
In a list
A contest entry
- Prescription Not Refillable by Cinnarry.
600 points, ended May 24, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLDS THREE by Swan song.
2000 points, ended October 5, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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WOW.
I mean wow.
this is something else.
I didn't have to look a single word up.
Peccant. I love that word.
Some amazing stuff here, really.
Kind of beyond anything other than wow.
congrats on the gold!
jin
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if love is a drug then I think you captured it quite well in this, but I doubt you could have too much of such a very good thing. Nice gold work here. Love, C
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this was passion, but in such an educated way (if that makes sense). your word usage was terrific and your piece's format worked well with the subject matter
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This was amazing... over the top!!! No! It was a "masterpiece" of out of the box thinking!!! Crisp offerings and one more bridge burned down in a sensual wake... Congrats. on the Gold!!! You earned this one!!!
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High praise indeed Ithica coming from you, given the superb quality of the body of your work. "one more bridge burned down in a sensual wake..." what a vivid comment .... damaged perhaps, I dislike leaving detritus around tho
I thought of the drug thing, but if everything is a metaphor... I suppose there are metaphors to the methaphors...
You are very kind. I have enjoyed the high level of your's and Blue's contests.
Thank you again.
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Never explain yourself in notes. Let the reader do that if they must. Cloisonne' is one of my favorite jewelry mediums.
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awww, com'on boss. Just a little rosetta stone glossary, there is still plenty where maps don't help... and many of the words have multiple meanings.... oh boy!
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Completely "out of the box" This to me is perfection If you haven't read his work, you are missing out greatly.
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Thanks C, broke a few rules, but that's what they're for...
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Thank you C. I am humbled.
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Sorry, clicked the wrong poem. Though an interesting read, I have nothing worth stating about this poem, sorry to inconvenience you. Ambivalence is a curse sometimes.
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Oh. This is a different kind of poem that you have going on here. I was wondering what kind of poem would be under such a interesting title. I kind of take this to be about beginning passion and the feelings between two people exploring who they are to each other. Lestways, that's how it sounded to me. I thought you did a good job of expressing yourself here.
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Well gosh... I found that very arousing!!
I think we all have our jewellery box of secrets and desires... that we would ache to have truely opened and explored...
This was so fantastic!! I shall have to read it many times I feel...
(thanks for explaining some of those words too )
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Wow this was immensely creative and breath-taking once again. Beautiful imagery, brilliant metaphor. You put this all together perfectly. Good luck in the contest! Deserves gold in my eyes! Keep up the amazing work
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Thank you Bella for indulging me in reading this. it is still a little drafty, but I wanted to lock up one of Cinnarry's slots.
You are very kind to nod to the piece.
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I am still reeling to think all of
this unravels from "prescription not refillable" (which is a very original prompt that I may
feel slightly jealous of)
This is an invigorating verse that subdues
the reader with visceral force moving
at a capable rate. I especially love the
tie-in's of "medication" and overwelming
desire...so many times, these two can overlap.
A few suggestions if I may:
"reveals the burnished
blade and pearl handle"...
to maybe?? "reveals the blade
burnished with pearl handle"
"glistened to glistening" as per tense
"still glistened with
with pungent wetness" where 'with' is
repeated in error.
Absolutely an absorbing write that is sure
to be well-received. Blue
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Reply II:
Ok, I agree there were issues in the "burnished blade" section. Probably other issues elsewhere.
Your suggestion:
reveals the burnished
blade and pearl handle"...
to maybe?? "reveals the blade
burnished with pearl handle"
discussed earlier, is migrated to something a bit different:
Slowly opened, her Arc
unveils the offering ---
burnished carbon steel,
mother-of-pearl swathed tang,
Other changes are made since you first read the draft.
Thank you again Blue -
Blue, thank you for visiting. I always listen attentively to your editing suggestions. You are formidably skilled as a writer and editor.
"I especially love the tie-in's of "medication" and overwelming desire...so many times, these two can overlap."
and frequently potentiate one another....
lets look at the edits:
"reveals the burnished
blade and pearl handle"...
to maybe?? "reveals the blade
burnished with pearl handle"
I was trying to describe the blade itself as polished. so your shuffle changes that meaning. However. looking at the following line, where the blade edge is descibed as an elongated series of points, a line of pinnacles 3 dimentionally extended ... then sharpened and honed ... perhaps that gets to the burnished blade, and my first pass is redundant.
Let me churn that one a bit.
____________________________
"glistened to glistening" as per tense "still glistened with
with pungent wetness" where 'with' is repeated in error.
Yes, you can easily see this is a first draft. Thank you so much for the catch.
Great to hear from you Blue.
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