I shut the stairs, climbed the doors,
Said my pajamas, put on my prayers,
Got under the lights
All because you kissed me goodnight.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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lol. At first, I was like...woah...does she know that none of this matches? What a crappy poem! But then I realized that you meant it to be like that....lol. Awesome. I love how your poems are so short but have the greatest value. Great job in your short but descriptive little poem. Loved it!
Jess -
this very cute ... no, it is excellent and here is why it is more than just cute: the last line is crucial, because it is not inside out, it operates as the punch line and intensifies the reader's grin because you are so, just so happy ... but
the final line could be, itself, backwards, so I looked at it and it cannot be turned backwards, because nothing in it will allow the reader to know it is backwards even if it was backwards for you ... this is why the poem is good; in fact, technically it is a well crafted piece with the conclusion that the kiss is as it should be and that it makes all well with the world and that it cannot be played with like the other things in life, not in words and not in fact, and so you feel this great joy from an honest, ardent kiss. Now that is really cool. It tells as much about the person who kissed you as it does about you.
That is why I find your little gem here to be a gem, and not just cute.
peace
,,,Moqui
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