Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

~Forsaken~

                 I got your letter today.
                 I smiled as I lay in bed,
                 eyes closed, imagining,
                 even before I opened the envelope,
                 what you felt as you wrote everything,
                 even the address

                 guessing wrongly,
                 I read the harsh, black, scars
                 left on the page for me to find,
                 felt the pressure of your pen
                 through the paper,
                 the ink still damp on my fingers

                 I wish letters came with warnings
                 and not just a return address

                crying, the pillow surrounding my ears,
                I blame you, but you can’t hear me

                I shred your accusations
                into tiny squares

                that create lacy snow-patterns
                on the sheets
                and drift like ocean waves
                crumbling sandcastles
                that cover your picture
                with dust





Author notes

Form: Freewrite

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • faderman1959
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You painted such a beautiful picture of pain, if that makes any sense? Such beautiful words conveying such sadness! A tough feat but you accomplished this wonderfully!


  • leo2 gold member
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The heartache of rejection is something I am intimately acquainted with unfortunately. You have a way of putting me, the reader, directly into each write. Your presentations are always top-notch.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • Midnight Lace
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have penned some very strong and descriptive emotions and brought forth real, raw feelings that allow people to relate to. Good Job all around! This poem has such a powerful impact from start to finish, one that tugs and torments the heart and soul... a familiar feeling brought out here. This is a beautifully written piece... painful, yet gorgeous in its language.
    ~Midnight Lace


  • TheRealDeal
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    OOps!


  • TheRealDeal
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It takes the fullness of experience to learn, to fly, to stretch and to grow into all the span of one’s own potential. Unfortunately, pain too has a way of bringing out the stuff we are made of as well... testing us, trying our patience and pushing us way beyond the limits we once perceived ourselves capable of. Keep the words flowing!
    JLG

  • TXCowgirl
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This leaves me speechless on many levels. This is one I can relate to personally and especially at this point and time in my life as I am going through some personal familia relations. This cuts deep.
    TxCowgirl


  • pattyann4500
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How beautifully you pen the pain of a broken heart, Sis. Each word was like the slash of a sword as you pour your feelings into this piece. Thank you so much for entering this lovely poem into my contest. I am truly honored. Hugs, Patricia


  • file
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'and drift like ocean waves
    crumbling sandcastles'

    delicate words like ashes accumulating, forsake not the phoenix TO1der

  • chasingtheday gold member
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a good poem, ah i used to write to many people worldwide before finding the online life, the pleasure of letters coming through the door. and yes, the angry ones too full of jagged ink, for like here online there are the same emotions in words and sometimes people fall out. darkness and sorrow here, showing how we are emotional beings.

1 - 9 of 9