drift
slowly,
illusions
capture greedy
minds.
turmoil
laced among
heaving moments,
lost
within
insane pleas,
forgetting time.
live
tender
within soft
and tranquil breath;
calm
waters
wash away
stagnant visions.
peace,
mankind's
solace found
drifting towards
life.
Author notes
H
In a list
A contest entry
- Poetry Formed XXIX by Arkbear.
450 points, ended June 3, 5 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Your comments are always appreciated, please leave one.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Nice job Storm ~
Aesthetics are almost flawless....could use a bit more work in that area.....your theme is very nice...lovely take on the prompt ~
Perfect count and nice Flow ~
The best to you in the contest and God bless you!
Bear ~
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Lovely. Great take on the prompt....beautiful words weaved together with such flowing ease. (No, I dont think it was easy, you just made it look like it was, lol) Nice job. Good luck in the contest!
Jamie
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Thank you, appreciate the comments.
Storm
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Oooh wow!
This is a fabulous write from you, sweetie!
You wrote it beautifully!
Wishing you light and love...always,
Sandy
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Thank you Sandy, appreciate your comments hun.
Storm
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Very nicely done. I love this form and you have done a wonderful job with it here. The imagery is dead on superb. Good luck in the contest! Thanks for sharing this and best wishes in all of your endeavors. Keep that pen handy and ever ready for use dear poet.
♥ Touchof1der
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Thank you so much. Had to take a gander at a new form. Appreciate your comments.
Storm
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I especially liked the way you completed the circle of thought of drifting! Very deep in thought and great word choice!
Best to you in the contest Beautiful!
♥
Tang
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Thank you my dear. I think it fit the picture quite well. Appreciate your words always hun.
Storm
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Hey Storm ~
Hi there :)
Of course I would expect something pretty from your quiill :)
Almost flawless in aesthetics.....eye appeal is brought to the 4th swirl......as the shape of the Lanturne is way off.....distracting the eye ~
Suuuumtimes, I use all lower-case letters inthis Form, as it tends to not be so over-powering with the eye ~
try it.....if it doesn't work, change it back ~
:)
However, like I said, very pretty indeed ~
The Theme is one which required only a few breathes to get through your entry......that is always a good thing for the Reader ~
It was not choppy and you paid great attention to the Flow......again, nicely done ~
:)
Love the entry....I'm glad to see your quill painting pretty things :)
God bless and good luck,
Bear ~
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Ok Bear, I lowered the caps, and yeah I think it helps. Also changes the fourth swirl a bit, so check it out again if you wouldn't mind.
Won't learn if I don't try, right?
Thanks
Storm -
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Yes....looks much better...
..but it does take time to really write a perfect String or Swirl ~
I almost think I liked the other one better though.....I don't remember all of your Swirls being so skinny in the middle ~
Hmm -
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LOL, only changed the fourth.
Ugh...well practice makes (as close to) perfect as I can come.
I will have to experiment with this form more.
Thanks again.
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