Oh how small
I am
How deafening to be
a smear, I wish
I weren't here
Oh, but then you
penetrate
my sores
Unworthy
to implore why
I feel so small
next to your straw
I feel so small
out on the lawn when
roses bloom and tell me that
my mind is almost gone
But then!
my mouth twists and
my teeth ache and my hands
unforgivingly clench
You make me
bigger
and make me
stronger and
I'm interesting again
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This poem reminds me of the beat poets. I can just see Ginsberg popping off these lines while the smoke circles up around his head. People snapping their fingers in the shadows. The image of being small, sounds almost Alice in Wonderland. Sort of a Jefferson Starship thing. Did you feed your head befoe you wrote it? lol, just joking. Good poem.
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lol
your author notes.. benadryl makes you loopy, XD.
but here-
your poem is very nice,
BUT
the whole drug thing, the whole like.. aspect on it. taking any kind of medication or drug to make you feel better is not good at all. okay? your poem was very nice, but the places where you like, pressed enter was really stupid. sorry. it made me pause in the wrong place. i had to read it again to get the flow right. good write though hun. keep on writing. ^.^
and i agree with tabby, it didnt seem so innocent.
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thank you for the comment. the poem is about cocaine, not benadryl. maybe i should have made that more clear in my author notes. not sure how to feel about the breaks being "stupid", that's how it flowed for me. again, thanks though.
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This felt like it was more about coke than benadryl...just seemed quite a powerful ode to such a relatively innocent drug.
I liked some of the lines here. Particularly the last five. Well written there. the choppiness effective. -
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thank you for the comment. it is about coke. i had just taken some benadryl before writing it.
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I like it the way it is! It makes it a little more abstract...I don't think it should be changed! you're amazing dear
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This can be something
How about "unworthy to be more"
How about "How tragic and clear, I wish I weren't here"
Lose the benadryl and rewrite it. I think it could be good.
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