I'm of the rotten persuasion
Half black, the other half brazen
My ancestors picked cotton for those caucasians
Struggled on southern plantations
Those times were amazing,
hatred filled minds kept humans in mental and physical enslavement
Ancient memory of kings and queens were quickly fading
Fast turns, many scars and burns, flip the pages, then...
I sink; I fold over in a recollection hole
I feel it all over—it penetrates my soul
Chills take advantage of my skin
I’m standing erect for my kin
These emotions are pulled back like a banana peel
I have that “Native Son” feel
I see visions of contorted faces
More than 300 years of unspeakable places
A wave of names, basically forgotten
And thousands and thousands of lifeless, leather tails
Smiting dark backs, leaving ‘slavery’s Braille’…
These realities bite...into the 'thick of me'
I'm viewed by many, by what 'they see'
the dark of my skin, don't dull the light in me
I wish to uplift, don't ignore my plea..
I think free...
These thoughts that flow , I release they take flight
Why you wanna judge me, I'm only tryna do right
Yet I know I'm not perfect, it's a constant fight
So I maintain my frame, and keep my goal in sight
The valleys, the shadows of death, I fear not
the lessons my elders taught, I never forgot
strategically placing bits of knowledge in my dome
that allows me to roam but still find my way home
back to the motherland, where my brothers stand
we’ll all join together and walk hand in hand
in this battle for freedom, justice and equality
but we understand the biting fact
that this is reality
Author notes
Please jump on this piece with both feet...make sure your boots are laced up tight! PS, please follow the order of the names listed. If need be, consider pre-writing and saving it so that when it's layed down, it's burning the page! LOL...Thanks you all!
open your mind to a poet's thoughts
Comments
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very very powerful piece with vivid imagery. a lot of wisdom and knowledge is in the great write. very well written
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absolutely amazing..
it starts with power and continues throughout the entire piece...you guys did an awesome job .. the work of many joined together to form a united voice that will long be remembered...
becca
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wow
my sweet friend, this is such an awesome comment! thank you from me and speaking for us all..it is greatly appreciated..
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Holy Smokes! What a read this one is! I love the feel in this and the words, speak of such truths! This touches on something I have said my entire life! If only everyone would feel the same way!
Again I am totally amazed by the words in this one, it were not stated that this was a collab, I would never have known it! What a great team!
and love
Nyetta
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yup yup
i'm guessing you were impressed? l.o.l. well yes i guess you were otherwise how else could possibly be smiling so widely? from us all..thanks my friend. -
WOW...You have certainly honored us with the time that you took to read this and the glaringly generous compliments that you've afforded us. This was a very meaningful piece for me (as it was for us all); I nearly closed my eyes and let my soul do the typing. When my part was finished I remember smiling and couldn't wait until the last parts were added. I'm really glad that you've brought me back to this day...this piece (a personal favorite collaboration of mine from the more than 40 we've done together). Thank you so much for your inspiring words.
AsIThink...
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Go boy!!!! This is a very strong write!!! I am SO proud of you!!!
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Thank you!
Although I know it has a 'feel' of one person, it's actually my incredible brothers and me..together! l.o.l. but wow, what a nice compliment!
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My ancesters we're out there picking cotton in Arkansas. Oranges in California. Some of them. Poor white folks. The others were Native Americans. Yeah, slavery certainly wasn't good for many people. At least they didn't come and take everything away from the slaves. Most of them didn't have anything to begin with. I'm sure many people were taken from their homes and villages. Sort of the same thing, take you away from everything that's yours, or come take it away from you. I'm also of european descent, a direct descendent of Captain James Cook(My grandpa was William Hade Cook,) and I'm told, somehow a descendent of Prince Charles as well. So, I guess, in the end, at least everybody got laid. Or maybe screwed. I'm not sure anymore. I said fuck it and moved to Australia. Here the natives and the blacks are the same people, they were slaughtered en masse. They're a dwindling culture struggling to survive in this new reality, still living in the woods, sometimes the parks. The Europeans fucked it up for alot of people. The corporations of yesterday.
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Whoa. The message in this work is loud and clear. Concise language but powerful delivery. Your rhyme structure flows well and I'd say that the first two lines grab with such a hook that your reader MUST finish every last word.
Very nicely done.
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I like the brothers would like to thank you very much for those wonderful words of praise. The thought that you took time out to read this is amazing to me. Thank you once again. Come again anytime. Tell a friend...bring a friend!
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Thanks for the incredible review here. I wonder if you realized that this is a collaboration? It's 4 writers (see top, right-hand side of screen - author info.). Your feedback is powerful and inspiring. Makes me (personally) feel like this is one for the 'books' (or rather, our book - lol). Glad that you liked it. And I'm glad that you left this wonderful comment.
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I do indeed. *s* I'll be checking back tho. Keep the words flowing & I'll be around to read them!
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Awesome collab! We have all regardless of race religion gender or sexual orientation tasted the hatred and persecution who persecute us all the harder as their consciences cause them pain. One day it will all end and we will ALL be brothers and sisters under God.
Thanks for sharing this
Erik
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Thank you
From all of us, we really appreciate your time spent to read and comment on our piece!
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wow baby you know this hit right on home for me and my thoughts whew you penned this very well i see alot of us admired this look at all the lovely comments this was a great write
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really appreciate your lovely comment. please continue to share your thoughts.
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Thanks so much for this great, supportive comment. Glad you enjoyed this. We all did...
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thanks hon yes it was apleasure you guys did spectacular ,made me want to write *smile*
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to all who cared and don't:
i, like my poetic brothers, would like to thank each and everyone of you, as well as the thoughts that you took time out to print. your words shares both inspiration and strength to help further our goal of becoming the best at our personal crafts in this sport. thanks a million over. wisewithwordz (5/22/08) -
amazing
this is probably one of our best...(to my poet brothers)collabs that we've created. i truly loved the flow from start to finish....and as corny as this may sound or even seem, i almost didn't know who did what. the piece is terribly awesome, if ther's such a thing. thanks pne million guys for sharing your passion with me on this one. by the way there were so many goodand catchy lines it's hard to pick out my favs. one that sticks out, the Native Son reference....sick part. -
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Your more than welcome. You started something you can't stop son...lol. I really loved this flow. Thanks for inviting me. Love it...proud to be on it. I honestly have re-read it several times (it's so hard to believe - and I wrote to this - that we didn't even discuss ANY aspect of this before posting...thanks again for the invite to this new favorite of mine (hope it doesn't come off sounding arrogant).
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EXCELLENT!
The passions that spills from each stanza is incredible! I felt every single word, every bite, pinch, nuance, mood. I love the reference to Richard Wright's "Native Son". I do however, wonder how many people can relate to his literary accomplishments.
This is spoken word at its height. The flow is endless and has no interruptions. I would love to heard this read aloud by all involved. Had you not mentioned that this was a collaborative effort, I would have had no way of knowing.
Lines that leaped out into my psyche:
"I'm of the rotten persuasion
Half black, the other half brazen"
"These emotions are pulled back like a banana peel
I have that “Native Son” feel"
"the dark of my skin, don't dull the light in me
I wish to uplift, don't ignore my plea..."
"The valleys, the shadows of death, I fear not
the lessons my elders taught, [I've not] I never forgot" A little grammar thingy there for me.
Brilliant Work! KUDOS to YOU ALL! I am thoroughly impressed!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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loving the claps and stars. i hear nothing but good things from you. i''m utterly dumb founded that i or rather we recieved comments from you...the queen of written thoughts. truly appreciate your WORDZ!
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WOW
this is an awesome write. Lol i can really feel the words or the lyrics, so to speak, as if they were spoken aloud and put to a beat. its kinda sad in the least but a reality. -
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thank you my lil queen! wink-wink...thanks for the comment. hope to see you here again!
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good...reminiscently sad, of course (much of history is ugly)but there is such hope here. A hope to rise above that kind of bigotry, ahope that one day "equal under God" might actually mean something.
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Thank you very much for your visit and reading of this piece. I agree with you. The importance of hope can't be understated (it seems); of all types-at all times and in all circumstances. You have struck a chord in me with your insight. Thanks for that too.
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Reality is noteasy to take at times -liked the flow of theselines,the honesty that bites at one and confronts them right out. Keep writing like this - good reading.
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Thank you
My fellow collaborators and myself are very pleased you liked this peace, and appreciate your taking the time to read and comment. again thank you!
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wow this amzing
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Thank you very much for the read and comment.
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This is a great poem.
You are a great poet.
What was your inspiration for writing this poem?????
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This is a 4-person collaboration. We live in 4 separate states (geographically, I mean...lol). And we have written quite a few collorabations together (20+). A subject is started by anyone of us and the others just chime in (sooner or later...lol). Thanks so much for reading this...
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heartfelt
This is great...I know how you feel sorta even though I'm white. I'm a NY Yankee living in NC..and are they hateful to New Yorkers. Some are nice, but I've met a lot of stuck up southern belles here that won't let you into their cliques just b/c you're Northern or go to a different type of church or whatever. If there's anything different about you here you can forget about getting close to people. They are very unwelcoming to Yanks here and still hang their confederate flags and talk about how they were right. I don't know why they can't admit they were wrong..plus, "christians" are all rebel pride here too. I have a German background but I'm not prancing around with Nazi pride. In the bible belt, i thought I'd find more friendliness, but rather it's snobbiness and grudges to anyone that's not like them..if you're black, native american, hispanic, asian, less money, different religion or yankee they don't want you around. Believe me i've vented out in more than one blog about it since i moved here lol and gladly i'm moving back to NY soon. i've experienced more prejudice in the 4 years here in the south than my 20 years up north. They say New Yorkers are rude, let me tell you NC blows NY out of the water..southern hospitality is nothing more than an advertisement. -
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thanks for your thoughts. your message came across like a ton of bricks. thanks.
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following my brother's
comment let me add 'we' feel you on the northern/southern thing as we are fellow northerners ourselves!
Thanks again for the great commentary!
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Thank you very much for the visit and feedback here. Funny enough, while this piece started out with references to race, the way the 4 of us (on our collaborations) write, we never discuss it...someone begins and the others jump on. We often change flows midway or something. This just stuck I realize. it oozed out, crept out, seaped out and leaped out all (somehow...lol) at the same time. Race, ethnicity, religion, etc., etc...all the things that have polarized so many for so long, huh? Thanks for sharing your story too (here). BTW, "southern hospitality is nothing more than an advertisement" - now this strikes me as kinda funny actually.
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Rough
Now i mean rough in a good way, well as good as you can when a poem is about such a difficult subject, but anyone who can make such an unspeakable horror sound so poetic has done the unjustifiable deed justice in their own words, very well written, and thank you for sharing this with all of us...
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thanks for sharing your words. i truly hope you'll visit again soon!
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You nearly 'robbed' me (unintentionally albeit) of the ability to respond back. Glad my pause was just temporary. Thank you very much for this gracious comment and wonderful feedback. I take it as fuel for the next trip...much appreciated for sure.
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Incredible write fellas. LOVED ALL OF IT! We need more writes like this. Thanks for sharing. Write on. One.
Dez
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dez...thanks my man...i feel as if you saw our thoughts floating in the air.
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My man, thanks for the visit, the read, the positive feedback - all of it. Thanks a lot. It means a whole lot. I really appreciate it; we all do.
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wow this is deep
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well thank you kind sir. hope you come back again. this was something inspired by thought and more thought! the love of writing brought our souls' minds together and 'made' us produce this piece! we are thankful to you for your comments!
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Thank you for this feedback...
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Amazingly Powerful!
This is definitely a Pyromaniacs wet dream, because it is on fire! I have said it before, I will say it again - You guys do some amazing work whether together or apart! This is a very powerful piece! Full of emotions and imagery and stunning flow and rhyme! I love the subject matter as well, its one of the best pieces I have read on this particular subject. I for one, cannot say that I personally feel this based on subject, but I can still feel the power of this piece. And the lyrical quality, don't even get me started on that! Flat out, you guys are awesome! Well done and bravo!
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Thank you 'ump-teen' times over again. Your comments are always something special. Provoking and encouraging. Like you took a class in inspiring me to 'keep at it' (lol). Of course, I have gotten use to you reviewing my/our work. Your honesty is so important (and I know you don't hold back - except in the good ways). Many happy returns (lol)...Glad it touched you. "...a Pyromaniacs wet dream"? That's hilarious...
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Incredible colloboration of incredible minds.
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thanks for the incredible comment...lol hope to see you again soon. enjoy more of this...lol
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Thank you so much for the comment and feedback (the compliment wasn't too shabby either..lol).
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ja i'm sorry it's about slavery and racism? uhm.. good job at confusing me. u must be smarter than me or something coz i don't understand the flow of context.
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thanks for coming even if you weren't absolutely sure of what "we" tried to convey...sorry for the lost of context! i do appreciate your comment! come again anytime.
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Wow, I truly felt what this poem is saying. Amazingly written. And it truly touched me. The flow was wonderful.
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As is this comment. I have to say, you've put a smile on my face here. Thanks a lot. And more than that, thanks for your feedback on this piece. So glad it touched you.
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You guys are wild...This is awesome..It is full of anger, passion and a burning desire to be heard.. So sing out brothers, sing out..!!!!!!
Nor
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haha...Lovely feedback 'soulster'. Wonderful encouragement you conjured up. I'm loving your inspiration and sense a jittering; an eagerness to build bridges here (lol). Thank you very, very much. I'm hopeful that this is a 'soulful' song.
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yes, just like I knew..
another blazing hot piece!
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I love this joint here! you guys are on fire!
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OUCH...(again)
Mo, I love this wrap up (or is it, "rap up"? lol). Son, you put the finishing moves on a piece that really moves me. I'm very happy to have met you and to have this incredible opportunity to write with you.
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OUCH!
I've been bitten...love this flow. I'll be on in a bit (God-willing).
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oh goodness!
yes! , yes this is blazing!!
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I'm on...tag! Your next (lol)...
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