Fascinated, to say the least.
My life entired was for the beasts
I sought out, and I became. Slag
to rag, and then profane. Hulking
shifting changing brutes. Sulking,
sculling, hooved with flutes.
Horns, and tails and claws, some fake.
Coated with scum from Lochs and lakes.
Filth under beauty, and beautiful filth.
Some that were timeless 'pon piles of wealth.
Hours turned days, then days turned to years.
But none ever came close, enough to cure fears.
That I did deposit Werewolving my tears,
Back at the moon. I race through thickening -
- Changes, and habits too sooned.
I can't stop the past, and I'm spent on today.
Tomorrow is too late to make things okay.
I can feel my eyes sharpening,
And my skin start to crawl.
My centers are parting;
As my bottomless fall.
I've asked of every fiend, to get me back to new.
They said, "The Monster is not me, the monster is in you."
Author notes
Written December 23rd, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Sympathy for Monsters by Broken Angel E.
300 points, ended April 19, 2006, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Dude... sweet! I seriously love this one! You are definately in the running for the winner! Great!
Love,
BAE -
one of the best discriptive werewolf poems ive heard so far. although without form, the ryhms added in overlook that, And it flows perfectly. Honestly, id much rather a poem have no form and flow then form that is forced. The first stanza is my favorite, but it could have done without an extra sylable at the last sentence. but you don’t have to change it or anything I like it just the way it is! Werewolves seam to be a favorite along with unicorns here at ap…but yours in a way was origional, in the way you wrote it (which I liked) its an artists licence my friend
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This is a good, stong write i like the rhythem that you have created the whole poem flows very well. I like the lines:
'Filth under beauty, and beautiful filth.' and
'I can't stop the past, and I'm spent on today.
Tomorrow is too late to make things okay.'Especially the latter for it's sheer truthfulness.
Great ending also. Thanks for entering my contest.
StephX -
This i a very good poem i like how you ended it "The Monster is not me, the monster is in you." nice way to make the reader think.
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Poetry is the swiftest boat away from the monsters.
Excellent write. Perfect conclusion.
M -
This is certainly different and your beast may be very tangible or not, which leaves the reader in suspence. Good Job ! Best Wishes!
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erm...this is good, but im sad to report i dont understand very much of it, although its a shame as what i know of it, its a good poem and i enjoyed reading what i could make sense. lol.
anyway, good luck
l8az sky x -
Although you insist that the monster is a metaphorical 'beast' inside of yourself (which I don't doubt), you still refer to external beings/influences as 'fiends' and I can't help but think that that's got something to do with your message. 'Werewolving my tears' is a very original way of putting it. Barbie. Xx
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When I read this, I don't think of actual fictional monsters, but real ones. The ones that linger in each and every one of us. The sometimes hidden, other times not, beasts. I may be completely wrong in this, but to me it seems like you are almost talking about our sins, our hate, and jealousy. I loced the last stanza and especially this earlier line : Filth under beauty, and beautiful filth.
Bravo! -
Rocks
Yah, you're on the road to rehabilitation, relaxation and resurrection! We've got the beast in the back, bloodied and beaten with billy clubs and beanbags -- just about submissive enough to confess to anything we ask...
As Freud postulated, "Become das beast und you vill vear der lederhosen of immunity to fear." Beyond not really understanding the basic human emotional elements, he also had a really nasty accent. To become the beast is to become your fears - that which drives you becomes that which eats you, consuming your life like a cheese sandwich...
Yah. I like this. Good, solid, a little rage, a little fear - a veritable smorgasbord of emotion and deli delights. -
An original way to look at the contest, and your writing has plenty of class. I get the feeling you put a lot of thought into this, and it showed.
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Thank you.
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Hmm I can be a monster LOL good poem, the werewolf theme was very present here
Lakota x -
I've seen monsters, and they scare me...the worst was when I walked in on and 80 year old lady at the dressing room...she was sagging to her knees. I thought I was being chased by a four armed prune...to say the least I am unnaturally afraind of Dillards these days...
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