stars are falling from the trees;
the night is turning to ash;;
a cold wind blows teen dreams to dirty streets (back alleys and one-night motels) with not-quite-dreams (this isn’t what I wanted from the pills)
[you took me home;
I didn’t drink enough;
from ash to ash,
I turned to dust]
I carry years at my hips & thighs & under my ((so.sick.of.it)) . eyes;;
the days of glitter are dying, dead, buried ((with a Christian funeral)) with the fishnets & “fuck you” glam-glam ((fake.tan)) face.
time to face the music, baby;;
this chilling with your friends thing
~just ain’t cutting it~
and
[this is the saddest story.
not just the lonely will know
how it feels to decay;
it consumes me.
as you cry.inside. remember,
tonight we won’t die—
just grow up]
so turn off the music ♥honey♥ and
[get.out.
move.on]
nothing’s worth it {anymore};;
wipe off the e/y/e/l/i/n/e/r
and
turn off the {music};;
its.time.to.face.the.world
Author notes
um. Yeah. Pretty much about the carefree days of youth ending, growing up, facing the world.
Lyrics references--they're not the same as in the original lyrics, but the first one is by Atreyu. "You took me home. I drank too much. 'Cause of you my liver turned to dust." Second one is by I Am Ghost. "This is the saddest story. Only the lonely will know how it feels to decay. It consumes me. She cries inside. Tonight we won't die."
In a list
A contest entry
- dIrTy PrEtTy by poetrytoopeneyes.
600 points, ended June 15, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
um, thoughts?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Pretty incredible write here, relates as well to 1982 as is will to now. Shows well the inner decay that many of us do not realize until we take that hard look in the mirror.
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i see an essence of Francesca Lia Block in your writings. do you know of her? is she one of your inspirations?
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I do know of her and love her books
They are indeed a source of inspiration, though I'm fairly certain I actually wrote this piece before I read any of her books.
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Highly enjoyable
This was a very insightful piece, one that kind of looks at life though a different focus than most of the teenage population. I liked the shape and format of the poem, it suggests fractured and racing thoughts. Overall, one of the better poems I've read lately.
'Maska -
Very unique idea [out of 35 entries this was the only near it's kind.] It's so true and painful but yeah. Glad you entered.
Good write.
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Wow, this is powerful. Well penned, poet! You really captured it
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Wow it really makes an impact the way you structured your stanzas! This was awesome to read, what imagery! It really does describe growing up and all the emotions and pain. My favorite parts were "stars are falling from the trees;
the night is turning to ash;;
a cold wind blows teen dreams to dirty streets (back alleys and one-night motels) with not-quite-dreams (this isn’t what I wanted from the pills)", "I carry years at my hips & thighs & under my ((so.sick.of.it)) eyes;;
the days of glitter are dying, dead, buried ((with a Christian funeral)) with the fishnets & “fuck you” glam-glam ((fake.tan)) face." and "nothing’s worth it {anymore};;
wipe off the e/y/e/l/i/n/e/r
and
turn off the {music};;
its.time.to.face.the.world" Great job!
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HMMMMMMMMM
I adore the imagery. I didn't quite care for all the parenthisis or the shape of the write. The concept is eggcelent, but kind of hard to follow along with. I am by no means being rude, it's just my opinion, k?
POETDONTKNOWIT
WRITING IT HER WAY -
Wow I loved how you worded this, it took it to a whole new level. There's nothing else I can say, it was great. Awesome write!
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I like it!
not too keen on the brackets and slashes in the words, but I like the poetry and form. It keeps the reader attentive, and isn't confusing like most dirty pretty I've found. If you get the chance, check this one out: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4302507
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good
i liked it alot, it was very well written great job
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