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Surrender { Bronze }

Fools gold, what is real what is fake,

Beauty was those moments,

Believing trust gained,

Failed misery,

I became the fallen,

Innocence trailed by my turbulence,

Washed in salt,

Grained a block,

Why ?

Cannot you see,

What you have done,

Heavy weight dragged my feet,

Drowning somersaults, reflect,

Lost storms battle against hope,

Sickening blow hits the rock face,

Reaped within blinded sight,

Answers choked,,

Cheaters revenge takes stock,

Played passions rape of mind,

Destroyer of faith,

Endless I surrender.

 

 

Author notes

Picture Prompt
My thoughts are out of the box
An honest account to those who prey on the feelings of others.
Internet innocense torn by those who own pity plays a hard and ruthless game.

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Ghostdancer
    May 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Painfully honest and sadly true, a write that touched a personal wound that never really heals.


    • Reptile Lady gold member
      May 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you John
      You would understand this poem totally
      I hope in time it does heal and life brings you new love and dreams. xx


  • MysticalRayne
    May 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done ~ best of luck in the contest


    • Reptile Lady gold member
      May 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for the bronze
      I enjoyed writing this piece
      Julie x


  • GentleGiant
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    well written oh wife of mine, hopefully it's read by those who play the internet games and realise what they have lost by playing such hands x


  • daviscth silver member
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an eye opening piece that I wish everyone could read sis. Good luck in the contest. Love you


    • Reptile Lady gold member
      May 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Sis
      I wish many would read this piece
      Its such an honest write, that says so much
      love you xx

  • Nighttime angel
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well said Mum.. I can relate to this all to well.. well I woke up and smelled the coffee. thank god I woke up.. I lost myself somewhere along the way, sidetracked I suppose. no more though and I can say that proudly.. I'm me and thats important.. I have people who truly love me for me...who are my friends.. excellent job with this, the subject is very important and the message is clear..

    good luck in the contest


    love you

    kat


    • Reptile Lady gold member
      May 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Kat
      I know my words are raw and to the point
      Glad I wrote them down xx


  • LadyDementia gold member
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This has a heavy air of sorrow to it and packs quite a punch. It's a shame people actually do things like this. Wonderfully penned and expressed hunni, good luck in the contest

    • Reptile Lady gold member
      May 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I felt gutted ! but the words flowed and I am glad my thoughts and feelings were written.
      I thank the host for giving me this chance xx


  • Midnite wolf gold member
    May 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    such a sad write, but is beautifully written, good luck in the contest,


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful imagery to go with that pic! Sigh.. I think I've been in that turbulance before!!



  • Age of Rain
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was interestingly done. Your word are said in almost a staccato beat. You bring forth a very raw and powerful sensuality with the brutal punches of this pieces flow. Well done!


    • Reptile Lady gold member
      May 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks my darling nephew
      The punches were thrown as were my words xx


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    May 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such a sad piece this was. Also I found it very beautifully-written with a lot of passion and emotion behind it. I especially like this line:

    Cheaters revenge takes stock,

    Played passions rape of mind,

    That was hard-hitting and so sad.

    Good luck in the contest Julie.
    Another wonderful piece of writing here.

    With Dark Love to you
    my Sister
    Wayne Leon
    x


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    May 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice take on the prompt--You are the mistress of both sensuality and angst--
    Well done & best of luck in the contest!

1 - 21 of 21