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Impure Innocence

Missing image

Buoyant upon blasphemous burned rivers
Jagged edges chastise minds to sedate

Sharp pungent sorrows slice into slivers

Solitude fogs views where taboos' debate

 

Caustic flesh melted upon bone marrows

Jaded as the soul beneath tattooed skin

Faded photographs hide behind shadows

And where did all those fairytales begin...

 

Carved cares upon those shattered souls unloved

Let their skin inhale pure perfumes of ink

Seize those lies shoved in ponderings beloved

And reveal the truth inside each kinked link

 

Existing on islands of gibberish

Unblemished to me some see as rubbish 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • mysticstorm gold member
    June 12

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    Congrat's on the well deserved Gold...lovely allteration and strong words of truth you have written...something so true and close to home for too many...excellent as always and a pleasure to read...
    Best,
    :

  • x-Black-Butterfly-x silver member
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    as always uncle your verses flow so beautifully and powerful with emotions. the rawrness and detail gripping to fit the picture and what it symbolises as well as the many thoughts of teens and people all over the world including myself. you have used detail words to dd effect to it and I loved it well done

  • poetryrocksmysox
    May 23

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing Poet!

    I love these verses that flow with so much perfection, and the way you word each line captivates me with your brilliance. Thanks for sharing your excellent writes, and all the best within thuis contest you wrote this for. Not sure luck is needed in this, but good-luck anyways.


  • Deaths Desire
    May 23
    Edit | Reply

    its awsum

    i repeat, its awsum!! you did a great job at bringing out deeper emotions.

    well done


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 23

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    Wow.. amazing write for this picture... such strength in it! Seeping pain in this..


  • poeticpieces
    May 21

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    Amazing!

    How you can see a picture and get all that from it, I'll tell ya what, that's a poet if I ever read one. Great job Dad, and I wish you all the best in this contest. to grandma down below.

    No luck needed here, Bravo Daddio~
    -Tim Jr. aka poeticpieces


  • weaverwonderland
    May 20

    Edit | Reply

    Great Write!!

    So very, very true. I believe that each person is wonderfully made and no one is alike. To be put into a mold and want to be like another is so sad. It takes time for the potter to make something beautiful out of the clay and it is awesome when its all done. You my son, have discribed so well so many people. So much to think about. So well thought about an full of truth. Just dreaming of to be loved and accepted..

  • HoneyFire
    May 20
    Edit | Reply
    so beautiful and realistic.
    takes a smart individual to write such a magnificant piece.


  • steal-my-scene
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is a brilliant write. Full of truth and beautifully penned. I'd even tell you my favorite lines but truthfully, I think all of it is my favorite. Thank you for sharing.

    . Rewarded 4

  • Sestos
    May 20
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, good diction. Three claps for you.
  • chandaliearring
    May 20

    Edit | Reply

    buenisimo

    Me gusta.
    To me, the power of this poem exists in one word: diction. Your word choice is phenomenal and that is from where so much of your power comes. If this is a response to the above picture (as I assume it is - correct me if I'm wrong), I feel that your response is accurate and really captures what is being shown.

    Also, your repetition of the tatoo imagery is really strong, I believe, because it helps to demonstrate the means through which people adjust their image. I know that I have a tatoo, and I got it so that I might commemorate something (long story), but many people get them as a sort of status-symbol or something of that nature, which is ridiculous. This goes along with the poor body-image theme that I am sensing through your poem as well as in the above picture. Again, perhaps I'm just reading too far into this, but that is what I'm getting out of this.

    To conclude, well done. Best of luck in your contest. I think this is a very well-done poem.

    . Rewarded 8


  • Lost Vampyre Angel Greeters member
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    oooh wows this is deep, heartfelt,
    and i love it so much, it shows true pain,
    i mean its so beautifuly sad, as always brialliant work,
    i love it, best of luck,
    love Kitty xxxx

    . Rewarded 4


  • MoonsShadow gold member
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    when fairytales begin, it is hard to grow up to be adults, but then again those who dream of love, and have none in their lives, it may be worth hanging onto for now... very interesting take on this one, good luck...
    Lin


  • Asdzaa Nadleehe silver member
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with ardent....
    Much of what we see and read are simply fairy tales, our young ladies try so hard to be just as the women they see in the photo. No matter what damage it may cause to them in the end the goal is to be amazingly beautiful..or so they believe...
    A wonderful write my dear brother...You really have your readers thinking with this one!
    Bravo
    Many blessings to you and your incredible pen!
    ~A~


  • ardentMarch gold member
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    "And where did all those fairytales begin..."

    sometimes I think that is where so much of this comes from. 100% of magazine & tv adds are fairy tales.

    thought provoking


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    Holy shitfire...this was you are amazing my sweet poet. I loved this potent piece. Best wishes to you in the contest. I love you my sexy sweet soul

    (waves to daughter, HEY CHAR, love you mommy)

    Love you always
    Tory


  • going nowhere
    May 19
    Edit | Reply
    amazing write... wow... just wow! the use of the language to convey such a profound message.


  • EeyoreUK
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    wow I wasnt expecting this. What a powerful write. Best of luck to you in the contest and always my friend. Keep smiling and keep penning, Jess

  • Jalalbad gold member
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is sure to be a winner, all your poems are winnwrs poeticweaver. much love to you

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