a single Eye
My
I
blinds me to all
but
My want
My will
My aching need
Gliding smoothly
past your blue lips
and frostbit ears,
my present convenience
proffers on gilded tray
semi-precious polished stones;
Gifts selected and wrapped
in papered hopes
of reciprocity,
tied snugly
with ribbon of limitation
“this much and no more”
Declined!?
You don’t appreciate me!
You don’t value my efforts!
I labored so to give you what
I
would want!
My tears fall,
your image ripples
in the pool
of my Narcissism ~
whose waters
cannot quench
your thirst.
Author notes
myopia: nearsightedness; lack of discernment or long-range perspective in thinking or planning
Hypothermia and frostbite can benefit from water; it is essential for carrying on normal metabolic functions, including heat production. An old treatment for frostbite is to submerge the affected body part in cool water.
The 'gifts' provide no possibility of use for warmth or insulation, in a situation of dire need.
Luke 11:34-35
A contest entry
- Big Bash for Old Friends and New by ten thousand cicadas.
800 points, ended May 21, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The WRESTLE with GOOD and EVIL #91 Winklings and all friends by Lyndon.
3900 points, ended June 27, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I see ...
Thank you for something new.
I read with interest.
Thought went into this poem, obviously.
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Wow.
I am quite moved by the power of this poem. Very well done. Line breaks are beautifully executed and the entire piece is so visually inviting.
Excellent poetry here. Thank you for this. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Wonderful!
This is a well-conceived and executed piece. Very thoughtful and thought-provoking. The placement of "my" and "I" as single word lines reinforces the egocentric view, the "blindness" that results from such self-centeredness. Interesting shift at the end; unlike the mythical Narcissus, the Narcissus in this piece is looking at a second person's reflection...and cannot quench that person's thirst. Too conceited to be mature enough for true love? Great job with this. -
Just wanted to stop by once more to comment upon the profundity of the thought here. I just loved this poem. Thanks so much for a wonderful entry!
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This is really interesting! I think we have all done or experienced the reflection and projection of selfish needs and wants, very wise and wonderful poetic observations here. I like the humor of this and the form, clever title too! Strong ending, great imagery throughout.
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Thank you, Mallig!
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An excellent expo on the dynamics of selfishness as it pertains to our relationship with those we love. I always say that the opposite of love is note HATE, as most would suppose, but it is, in fact, SELFISHNESS. The image of the eyes and their dealings, and particularly the idea of myopia is a wonderfully apt metaphor for this often self-centered vision we call love. I think the emotion displayed here, really shows the fallacy, and the pain, behind such misconception. An unusual style from you. I like it!
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You are so right! Selfishness is the opposite of Love! I see too many people searching for that 'someone' who will fill all THEIR needs. We can choose to address becoming individuals of strength and merit, instead of wallowing in needy-ness. Perpetual 'damsels (or guys) in distress' are exhausting and consumptive.
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This is a thought provoking poem in which the author examines her conscience and invites the reader to as well. The gift tied with strings (attached).
Great poem!
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Thank you Nice observation of the "strings (attached)!"
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