I stand, in a field
A field full of vibrant grasses, colorful flowers
But, this field, right now, is covered
In a sweet bathing moonlight, from a full moon
Midnight strikes the hour, but still I stand
Gazing up at the stars, waiting for something
When, suddenly, I see several shooting stars!
Quickly, I bow my head and make my wish, a wish on those stars
When I feel a hand on my shoulder, I do not scare
I, instead, smile, and turn to face my wish
I turn, and see my one true love, my true love, come to be
He smiles, the moonlight dancing in his eyes as he wraps his arms around me
I smile, for I knew, that deep in my heart. . .
My wish, for Blissful Serenity, has finally come. . .at last.
A contest entry
- Tales of Blissful Serenity by Xx Emo Teddy xX.
600 points, ended May 22, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PW Party by Blooming Poet.
425 points, ended July 23, 2008, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Absolutely Anything (No Adult Themes) by DawnKestrel.
550 points, ended June 3, 2008, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST: Looking for poems, That will make me say: OMG! This is awesome! 810 points by echo-ink.
600 points, ended July 15, 2008, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options For Everyone!!!! And yes that includes you! by glambert1201.
300 points, ended October 29, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - all the prewrites you want (theres a catch) by serenity silvermoon.
400 points, ended January 7, 2009, 290 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round one (for everyone) prewrite contest ENTER ENTER ENTER (AND YES THAT MEAN'S YOU too by serenity silvermoon.
927 points, ended February 16, 2009, 1454 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is a beautiful piece! quite lovely, The imagery is exquisite! I will be honest, when you repeated yourself, it threw me off it bit, I didnt much care for it. But other than that, I think its an amazing write!
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While I found it quite nice to read, It is more prose than poetry. You have too many repetitive phrases; it clutters the piece. Also, quite a bit incorrect punctuation usage. Another big issue is the text against the background; I had to highlight it to read the piece.
Overall, a fairly nice piece, just not what I would classify as poetry.
Well wishes in the contest.
Thank you for sharing.
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ok dude i love your poems, i truelly do but one question why does it continuously say he, his on line 12, i mean i can understand if thats how you roll, its cool with me just thought i would lay it out there, just kinda caught me off gaurd thats all, but other than that good write great imagry, and everything
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this is beautiful
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i love the imagry. it is beautiful. i can see my self standing there and making that same wish.
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A sweet wish comes true for romance. Blissfully lovely write.
Good luck in the contest. -
Omg, babe, this is a nice poem. =] I reallii do like it.
xXx-xXx
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I see the attempt and effort you put into this poem for sure, but you may want shine up thee rough parts or repeat words that make it rough
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Nice!
Good luck in my contest! -
Wow. Amazing!
Keep up the good work!
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For wishes do come true if one truely believes! What a wonderful poem filled with hopes and desire for the heart. ~Sie
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