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The End.

I took from life what life gave to me.

All to the darkness, nothing to the sun.

Lie there on the ground. Weep, weep.

For you will never be the same again.

 

Let your tears fall, let them flow.

You think you know what it's like?

No. And i pity you so...

Close your eyes, but weep, weep.

For they never forget...

 

Cry an ocean, but never let them see.

Hate them so, but never let them know.

Live like this, but weep, weep.

For this is a life of lies...

 

Close your eyes and let your life go.

Listen to the steady drip, drip.

But weep, weep. Wait for the silence.

For this.... this is the end.

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • jamgo88
    October 16

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    i like this a lot, it really gives insight into how you must have been feeling when you wrote, feelings a lot of us, including me can relate to, i also love the repition of "weep" in there as well, and the way it slowly builds up to an almost abrupt but effective end


  • Violent Glass
    February 1

    Edit | Reply
    This is very soft but straight up
    i liked it
    it was beautiful
    i liked it wheb you said 'For this is a life of lies...'
    it was really great
    thanx for sharing it with me


  • Yorkshire Rose
    August 11, 2008
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    wow, very gd poem, i like the use of repeting the wirds, to make a big impact, it worked


  • SomeonesToySoldier gold member
    August 7, 2008

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    Very interesting and well done poem. Dark and you can feel it but not soo the the point that it is overbearing. Flow os alright although in freeverse its not really that big a deal. You did a good job. Gook luck in my contest.


  • Silvos. silver member
    July 11, 2008
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    I liked this, even though it is somewhat dark (but then again I like dark poetry). I think the repetitive use of your "weep, weep" stuck with me in this one the most. It added that certain needed touch to make this wonderful write a true masterpiece.

    Keep writing,
    Silvos.

  • Bob Fox
    June 19, 2008

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    My

    The forbidden truth in your words. So often those that suffer from this unseen pain are caste aside and left to deal with that inner torture. But to write helps . that I know. For those that wish not to venture here. well enjoy your rainbows & lolly-pops


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    May 20, 2008

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    Welcome to All Poetry

    This is such a deep and grasping write. the imagery ad life that is within your words really helps the reader to gian an idea of the scene and the story behind the words that you have written here. the metaphors and imagery you have placed in this. I love the deep emotion of sadness and numbness within this piece, it grasped me and I felt that I was in your words feeling it. well done

    Charlotte
    Site Greeter


  • theredcatjazzoflove gold member
    May 19, 2008

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    wow this was only to me like murder she wrote but in a great peotry style i think you did a very great job here thanks for sharing it was a pleasure

1 - 8 of 8