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Soaring

Filled with air
My balloon soared
Without a care
Or without a thought

Author notes

http://do0dz.deviantart.com/art/Hopeless-64015497

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Darkwell
    June 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    YAY

    i felt floaty reading this ^.^


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    May 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this was good. short and sweet


  • Dead Hair
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I also love small poems.
    But, the picture portrays the balloon dropping not soaring, so if you change 'soars' to 'soared' it will much better suit the loss of innocence and childhood in the picture.
    Also, as a side note, your first letters on your first two lines are capital, but this is not the case for your final lines. Sorry, but it eats at my OCD!
    An interesting little thought.


    • Li snuffles
      May 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      sorry about my letters, it was a beautiful picture but i found it increbily difficult to try and write any longer than this one stanza....

      Thanks for your comment and for the picture... Lisa


  • james119
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this little poem. It's carefree as it's topic.
    Nice work


    • Li snuffles
      May 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you im glad you liked it!

      i was looking for a longer poem, but nothing else would come...!

      (lol)

      thanx for the wee mens...

      lisa


  • Dead Hair
    May 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Of course, here you are:
    http://do0dz.deviantart.com/art/Hopeless-64015497
    And thank you very much! I hope it lives up to your expectations.

1 - 9 of 9