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Gingerbread Boys -Bronze

Missing image


Metal taste of cutting edge
women’s cookie-dough fingers
press the making of a man
with chocolate chip eyes
and curlicue smile, wry,

almost too-sweet aftertaste when hot
lip-smacking as decision is made
which to eat first

legs, arms, head

I lick sugar coating until it is peeled off
with rough tongue of reality
to find a boy hardened
beyond teeth-grip gnawing
as it all cools





Author notes

Happy birthday, May 31!!!!

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Night Hope gold member
    May 25, 2008
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  • penman gold member
    May 23, 2008
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    Excellent

    Another incredible creation from your gifted pen. Best of luck in the contest.


  • libithina
    May 21, 2008

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    Yes .. where to start head or a leg .. a nibble here and there ..
    Got me thinking what do I do!!! lol
    but great analogy
    Great write x x Lib x


  • sassykitty
    May 20, 2008

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    what an original poem! i really liked the way you described the forming of the ginger bread boys almost as a birth and use it as a metaphor for how growing up isn't always what we expect. great stuff


    • CarolDesjarlais silver member
      June 1, 2008
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      no greater compliment than knowing that a far-edge write is appreciated. Ty for the kind comment.


  • meic
    May 20, 2008

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    Wry, I think, almost characterises the poem in total. The spare style is admirably suited to the subject. Altogether an enjoyable read. Mike

    • CarolDesjarlais silver member
      June 1, 2008
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      I often leave things open....it then causes each lien to stand alone for a bit so the meaning can sink in. I do appreciate your critique...and ty for the bronze.


    • CarolDesjarlais silver member
      June 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      ty Mike. I appreciate your comments and glad you liked it.


  • ladame
    May 19, 2008
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    Wow. I wasn't expecting anyone to use my photograph, but I'm thoroughly impressed. The last, revealing stanza is fantastic.

    Great use of allegorism, I just wonder where your puncutation is, and what effect it has on the work - really interesting.

    Thank you very much

1 - 12 of 12