The Wreckage

I am waiting for you to lie here beside me
  with no air in my lungs, I wait
the vibrations of my hands against the bed
  keep me awake
my ears want nothing but your heartbeat
    against them
my hair is sulking limply, dreaming only of
    coiling along your fingers
my skin is wishing for your breath to bring it to life
    but feels nothing but the deadened air

I chose to lay here in this empty space
  to experience the lack of you
exposing every follicle and fiber
  to the chill of your absence
as though slipping nakedly into snow
  I'd hoped to numb myself
but I am only cold and breathless and
  shaking in my deprivation
while my bones push out all the heat
  from within me
demanding your warmth and weight
    to cease the wreckage

It seems my eyes will not open for me
  and will only open for you
my lungs have turned against me because
  your scent is not in the air 
with my organs failing within me
  I am still trying to learn
to be all right without you here