A rhythm of wind
whirls its soft melody
through aspen branches
below I swing you slowly
in the croon of the moment.
In a list
A contest entry
- Form Contest: Tanka - Music - Simile by Little Feather.
600 points, ended June 26, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Thank you for your entry
I can hear the music of the wind in this poem. Lovely imagery Aspen huh, during the ski season. Perhaps those branches were hung with snow as well.
Good job on the flow, you feel short one syllable in the second line but otherwise very good. I didn't note any use of simile as well, but the music was there.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
nicely written tanka for the prompt . . sweet picture
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