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Tonight I was screaming
but nobody heard,
I couldn’t make sense
not even a word.

The feeling inside
all jumbled with pain,
voices cried out
again and again.

Depression it seems
the thoughts in my head
seem real to me
but are better unsaid.

The physical numbness
I feel inside me
I wish would devour
the blackness I see.

The need for a shoulder
and someone to care
is always a help
when troubles you share.

This may seem indulgent
I think it helps me,
although I’ve not spoken
my feelings are free.

 

 

 


 

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • BehindTheShadow
    May 24, 2008

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    Great form of self expression, and very raw emotion through out the piece. Fierce flow, and the rhyming was on point too.


  • moonbumps silver member
    May 20, 2008

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    Let it all out babes-I am hear to listen and my thoughts are always in my heart for you-
    Blessings and love stay with you always-
    All my love always -Moonie-xxx


  • Patpowers silver member
    May 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sue-this site is not only used for poetry but also to express our feelings whether good or bad. I admired the courage for you to write this. Again thanks so much for sharing this latest effort. Take care.


  • One Angry Monkey
    May 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I hope this helped you as much as it says it did, i could do with a little of the same treatment myself. I have two pointers if you don't mind too much. Line 4 has "one", a stressed syllabol in an off beat possition, if you think the line is a bit rough, thats why, you could simply replace it with "a" instead. Similarly on line 12, "best left" is a sucession of stressed syllabols effectivly giving the line three akward beats instead of two smooth ones, you could try "but are better unsaid" to give softer tone.
    hope this helps Sue,
    Rob


  • breedluv gold member
    May 19, 2008

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    Sue-just know there are many out here who have true feelings for you and your struggles. I wish I could do more to help you. As for the poem....a brilliant look into your world, sometimes overwhelming, but I hope, occasionally a serene place.

  • Bad Bill
    May 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The Black Dog, eh, Sue? I've been there and you describe it very well. If you're writing from personal experience rather than imagination (and I think you are) then you have my sincere sympathy.

    Take care,
    Bill


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 19, 2008

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    Aww Sue.. I know this feeling so well!! This touched me deeply.. a torturous place depression can be!!

    We care about you and are here for you!



    x


  • cricketjeff gold member
    May 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That I wasn't there for you makes me sad. I wish I had been. I am sorry.


  • arafura gold member
    May 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Depression it seems
    the thoughts in my head
    seem real to me
    but are best left unsaid..."

    Tie "The Black Dog" up for awhile my friend. We who forever walk with him by our sides grow weary and need rest from time to time. Fine write!


  • pantress silver member
    May 18, 2008

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    We hear you

    Sometimes writing is a way to release our inner demons. Holding it all in, causes to many problms to list. Venting is healthy. Well written poem.

1 - 10 of 10